


White Knight

by TheSongSmith



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, Dean likes a man in armor, Doctor Sam, M/M, Winged Castiel, keeping secrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-06
Updated: 2014-10-06
Packaged: 2018-02-20 02:23:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2411492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSongSmith/pseuds/TheSongSmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is a knight who shows up at Dean's door. He's hiding a dark secret or two under his armor, and it's up to Dean to unravel them. But first, he has to keep his knight alive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Family Business

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw this really cool fanart piece where Cas was a knight, and I just couldn't help myself. Enjoy!

As busy as my brother and I are, he always insists we eat dinner together. Growing up, our father always told us that there was nothing more important than family, and losing him and Uncle Robert so soon only made it more important that we stick together. They taught us everything we know about saving people; the family business. Sam had taken to it better than I had. He’d quickly become the most talented healer around, and I worked as his partner, but we both knew he was the one with the knowledge. It wasn’t that I wasn’t smart enough. The truth was, I never saw much worth saving in the world. But that was before the knock on the door brought everything I thought I knew crashing down.

We’re halfway through dinner when we hear it; three sharp raps against the door and a low grunt. Sam frowns, crossing over to the door and peeking out. He lets out a soft gasp, wrenching it open. “Gabriel?”

I look around him to see the baker, usually so carefree, but now with deep worry lines in his face. “Please…you have to help him…my brother…” he gasps, out of breath.

Sam glances down at the bundle in his arms, startling a little when he realizes that it’s a man. “Dean, clear off the table,” he mutters under his breath. “Bring him in,” he instructs. “What happened?”

I busy myself removing our plates from the table and draping a clean sheet over it. “They tell me he was involved in a major battle, and that there’s nothing they can do for him. I couldn’t just leave him there to die. I know if anyone can save him, you can.”

He sets the other man down on the table, and Sam examines him, looking at me grimly. “We’ll do our best, Gabriel, but I can’t make any promises. He doesn’t look good.” I examine the man carefully, seeing his point. He’s dressed as a soldier, the large grey cross across his chest plate marking him as a knight of the royal army. He’s pale and bloodied, the ragged ends of his dark hair disheveled and damp with sweat, and even in his unconscious state he groans. Just under the chest plate sits a shiny silver dagger, buried to the hilt in his abdomen.

“I understand,” Gabriel murmurs, watching him with haunted eyes. “I just had to try. He’s my little brother.”

I frown, hoping that Sam can think of something to fix it. “We’ll do everything we can for your brother,” he says. “You might want to wait in the back. This isn’t going to be pretty. We’ll come get you if anything changes.” He starts carefully removing the chest plate, ripping the shirt underneath around the wound while I set a pot of water over the fire.

Gabriel nods anxiously. “…Castiel,” he murmurs. “His name is Castiel.” He disappears into the back.

“So what do you think?” I ask quietly.

He sighs, looking back at the man on the table. “I think it’s going to be a long night.” He tears the fabric of the shirt open farther, carefully examining the wound and the knife. “It’s a clean cut; once we take it out he’s going to bleed. It’s probably the only reason he’s stayed alive this long. At least he’s unconscious for this part.” He gathers the clean bandages and carefully removes the knife, surprised when Castiel moans in pain, his eyes fluttering open. He whimpers loudly when Sam presses down hard on the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. Frightened, he struggles weakly, growing frantic. “Dean!” Sam mutters, trying to keep pressure on the wound.

I reach out to pin his shoulders down, trying to keep him still, but this only makes it worse. “Hey! Take it easy! Castiel? Can you hear me? Come on, focus. You have to stay still. We’re trying to help.” He whimpers again, but quiets a little, stilling as he focuses on me. “Hey,” I murmur, softer, “Are you listening to me?” He nods a little, and I smile. “Okay. Good. I’m Dean, and this is my brother Sam. You got hurt, and Gabriel brought you here. I know you’re in pain, but you just have to hang in there, alright?” he swallows nervously, looking at Sam for a moment and then back to me. His mouth opens, but the only thing that comes out is a pained moan. His hand comes up, clutching desperately at my arm, and I take it in mine, squeezing gently. “It’s okay,” I murmur, lightly running my free hand through his hair in an attempt to calm him. “You’re going to be okay. We’re going to fix it. Try to relax, alright?”

It seems to help, and he relaxes just a little. He takes a deeper breath, his eyes closing for a moment before he looks up at me again. “Stay,” he whispers, so low I barely hear it.

I’m a little surprised, but I nod anyway. “Yeah, okay. I’ll stay right here, okay? I’ll stay as long as you try to keep still for me. Deal?” He nods again, groaning as Sam’s hand shifts. “Sam, how’s it going?”

“Surprisingly okay,” he answers. “I think the bleeding is slowing. We’re going to have to stitch it up, but if we can keep infection out, I think he’s got a chance. Hey, can you…” he starts. His eyes fall to my hand, locked in the man’s tight grip, then shift to Castiel, who’s remaining obediently still, though tense. “Actually, just keep the pressure on this while I get ready.”

I nod, pressing my hand over the bandage and wincing at Castiel’s whimper. “Sorry,” I murmur. “I have to. Don’t want you bleeding out on us. You hanging in there for me?”

He nods, panting softly. “Alright,” Sam says, returning with a needle and thread. “Let’s patch you up. I’m afraid there’s not much we can do about the pain, but it shouldn’t take long.” He carefully peels the bandage away, peering at the wound carefully before lining up the needle. 

Castiel cries out, his grip on my hand tightening. I shush him gently, running my fingers through his hair again. “I know, I know. Almost done. You can do it.” I watch the muscles in his jaw clench as he struggles to stay still. “Hey,” I say, trying to distract him, “Castiel is kind of a mouthful. Do you have a nickname?” It works, his focus shifting back to me, and he shakes his head. “No? How about…Cas?”

Sam finishes tying off the last stitch, covering the wound with a clean bandage. The knight sighs, his grip on me relaxing. “I like Cas,” he murmurs weakly, the corners of his mouth turning up a little.

“Alright. Then Cas it is,” I smile. “So Cas, let’s clean you up a little while Sam goes to get your brother.” I carefully unfasten the sword and belt from around his waist, removing the rest of the metal armor. The fabric underneath is filthy, but I don’t want to risk moving him to get them off. Instead I wet a washcloth, gently wiping the blood and sweat from his face and the area of his torso exposed by the ripped cloth.

He sighs softly, and I glance up at him. He blushes a little. “Feels nice,” he whispers.

I smile. “Good. I think that’s the best we can do for now. Once you heal a little bit we’ll give you a proper washing up.” He looks away, frowning. “What is it?” I ask.

“If I’m not dead by morning, maybe,” he mutters, his tone clipped at the end with pain.

“Hey, you listen to me. I am not about to sit here and let you die, so don’t even think about it. I forbid it.”

He smiles in spite of himself. “Okay,” he murmurs. His attention turns over my shoulder. “Gabe?”

Gabriel smiles. “Castiel! You have no idea how happy I am to see you. How do you feel?”

“It hurts,” he answers, “and I’m really tired, Gabe.”

Gabriel nods. “I know. It’ll get better. Sam says he thinks you’ll heal just fine. You had me worried for a while there.”

Cas’ mouth twitches up again in an approximation of a smile. “Don’t worry about me, Gabriel.” I expect him to say something along the lines of I’ll be fine, but he doesn’t. Instead, he looks at Sam. “What now?” he asks softly.

“Well, Gabriel and I discussed it, and we think it’s best to keep you here for now. It’ll be better if you stay as still as possible while you’re healing, and this way Dean and I can look after you. For now, you should try to rest. I’m sure you’re exhausted.”

Gabriel nods in agreement. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

He reaches out, squeezing Cas’ hand lightly before walking to the door with Sam, who returns with a pillow and blanket. He hands them to me, beginning the complicated task of sterilizing the instruments. I carefully drape the blanket over the knight, gently lifting his head to slide the pillow underneath. He’s fading fast, his eyelids fluttering in an effort to stay awake. “Thank you,” he whispers, slurring a little. “You’ve been very kind.”

“Any time,” I murmur back. “Try to get some sleep.”

“I can’t,” he mutters. “It hurts.”

A little whine escapes him as he shifts uncomfortably. “Cas, you have to stay still,” I remind him.

A low growl escapes him. “It hurts,” he repeats.

“I know, but moving around isn’t going to make it hurt any less. Just try to relax.” He grumbles about it, but shuts his eyes again. It takes another hour before Cas passes out from exhaustion, and Sam comes over to look at him. “Do you really think he’ll make it?” I ask softly.

He shrugs. “I think we’ve done all we can. At this point, it’s out of our hands. Let’s hope he’s got an angel watching over him. I think I’m gonna go to bed.”

I nod, watching the sleeping knight for another moment. “I think I’m going to stay up a while longer. Goodnight.” He nods, disappearing down the hall as I retrieve one of the kitchen chairs, sitting down beside him and watching the even rise and fall of his chest.

‘A while’ turns out to be all night, and I wake up to Sam shaking my shoulder lightly, the sun from the window blinding me. Cas is still out cold, and thankfully, still alive. “How’s he doing?” I ask, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

“Okay so far,” he answers. “No fever yet, but that could change if we don’t get him cleaned up. Those clothes are filthy.”

I nod. “I think I have some things that might fit him. You think it’s safe enough to move him?”

“As safe as it can be,” he answers. “We’ll be careful.” I walk into the back to find clothes for him, and when I return Sam is holding him upright. “I still can’t believe they were going to let him die,” he mutters, staring out the front window as I carefully cut away the tattered fabric. “Honestly, if they’d just give it a chance…”

“That’s what we’re here for, Sam,” I remind him. “It’s our job to save the ones no one else will.” I peel the remaining fabric from his back, freezing at the sight before me. “Uh…Sam?”

He frowns, still staring out the window. “Really, would it kill them to try?”

“Sam?” I try again.

“How many do you think they’ve just allowed to die?”

“Sam!”

He turns to look at me, annoyed, but it fades into shock as he takes in the sight before him. Sprouting from between Cas’ shoulder blades are two enormous black wings, neatly folded against his back. As we watch, they twitch and stretch, dangling over the edges of the table and hanging almost to the floor. Sam’s eyes widen, and his gaze shifts between me and the wings, his mouth opening and closing several times like he can’t quite find the words. He breathes a long sigh, muttering under his breath. “Christo…”


	2. Secrets

Slowly, I reach out, running my fingers lightly along the feathers and feeling them twitch under my palm. “Don’t touch them!” Sam hisses.

I frown at him. “Why? It’s not like he’s going to hurt us. Come on, Sam. I know you’re curious.”

“It’s unnatural.” I glare at him, and he sighs, running a finger along the edge of one feather. “I’ve never seen anything like it. What do you think he is?”

I snort. “Confused, for one. I don’t know. He looks like an angel.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “There’s no such thing as angels, Dean. Besides, if he was an angel, what would he be doing down here?”

“Who died and made you the authority on angels?” I mutter. “I’m just saying, that’s what it looks like. But he has to be human. An angel would have healed themselves or something.”

“You ever heard of a human with wings?” Sam asks skeptically.

I shrug. “Does Gabriel have them?”

“Of course not!” he insists, then pauses. “Well…not that I’ve seen…”

“Well you didn’t see these either. I think we would have heard if anyone knew the baker’s brother had wings,” I point out. “The angry mob would have come for him by now.”

Sam frowns, a new thought occurring to him. “We can’t keep him here. If they find out…they’ll think we’re working with him or something.”

Never in my life have I wanted to slap my brother more than I do now. “He hasn’t done anything wrong, Sam!” It comes out louder than I intended, and I glance back at Cas to make sure he’s not awake. “You of all people should know better than to buy into everyone else’s superstitious bullshit, with all the stories they have about us. He’s not evil. He’s just different. And probably terrified.”

He sighs. “Okay. You’re right. But what are we supposed to do now?”

“He’s still our patient. We’ll take care of him like we always do, and when he wakes up we’ll ask him.” I frown at the front window, drawing the curtains closed. “We’ll protect him until we can figure out what’s going on. Go heat the water. I’ll finish cleaning him up and we’ll move him to the bed.” He nods, disappearing while I work Castiel out of the remainder of his clothing. I gently scrub the blood and grime away, careful not to disturb him, and watch his wings as they flutter and twitch on their own. The feathers themselves look a little dingy, but I wouldn’t know the first thing about cleaning them, so I leave them be for now. Once I manage to wrestle him into some clean pants, I call Sam back in. “He’s as clean as he’s gonna get.”

“Do you think we should cover the wings up again?” he asks.

“No.” Truthfully, I don’t have the slightest idea of what to do with them. “I think they like being free. Besides, that would be a lot of work. Let’s just move him inside.” He nods, carefully picking him up, and I almost laugh when Cas’ wings obediently fold themselves back out of the way.

“No wonder Gabriel had such a hard time carrying him,” he mutters. “These things are heavy.”

I laugh, helping him maneuver the wings onto the bed so that they’re not squished beneath him. Stretched out, they still hang off each end of the bed. “There,” I murmur, pulling the blanket over him. “That’s better.”

“Is it just me, or are you suddenly really attached to him?” Sam asks.

I glare at him. “Shut up.”

He chuckles. “Listen, I have to go check on the Silchester boy’s arm. I’ll be back soon.”

I nod, turning my attention back to the mysterious knight. Soon, he begins to stir. “Cas?” I murmur. “Can you hear me?”

He groans as his eyes flutter open. “Dean…?”

“Yeah, it’s me. How are you feeling?”

“I’m still alive.”

I laugh. “Yeah, you are. I told you, dying is absolutely forbidden in this house.”

He chuckles softly, wincing a little. “Why is it so cold?” he mutters, pulling the blankets up higher.

“Well, we had to get your clothes off to clean you up, and we had some…difficulty getting a clean shirt on you.”

He nods sleepily, then freezes, his eyes widening. “You…what?” I sigh, lightly running my fingers through the feathers of the nearest wing, and he stiffens, shuddering. “Oh no…Listen, it’s not…not what it looks like. Who else knows?” he demands.

“Just me and Sam,” I assure him. His wings flap, agitated, and though it looks like he’s trying to control them, they don’t seem too keen on the idea. I run my fingers over the nearest one again, which seems to calm it, though Cas goes red. “You don’t have to be embarrassed, Cas. It’s alright.”

He stares at me for a minute, his head tilted to the side, puzzled. “You’re…not angry? Or…repulsed?” I shake my head. “No one else can find out,” he says slowly. “They’d burn me at the stake if they knew. Please, Dean.”

And edge of desperation leaks into his voice, and I frown, reaching out for his hand. “Cas, I told you, it’s okay. We’re not going to tell anyone. Why do you think we moved you out of the kitchen?”

He looks around, noticing the change of scenery. “You…did that to protect me?” he asks cautiously.

I nod. “I’m not stupid. I know what they’d do to you if they found out. They can’t handle different.”

He nods slowly. “Thank you. I don’t understand why you’re not just as repulsed as they’d be.”

I shrug. “I don’t mind different so much. Besides, you haven’t done anything wrong. And…I think they’re kind of interesting.”

He blushes again, but relaxes a little. “And Sam?”

“He’s…cautious. But he agrees that we need to protect you. He won’t tell anyone.” I watch the movement of his wings settle down a little. “Do you mind if I ask you about them?” He considers it, then shakes his head. “How long have you had them?”

“I was born with them,” he admits. “My mother had them too.”

“And Gabriel?” I ask. He nods. “So are you…”

“Human?” he guesses. “As far as we know. They don’t give us any special powers or anything.”

“So you can’t fly?” He looks at me like I’m crazy. “What? Don’t look at me like that. You’re the one with giant wings coming out of your back.”

He chuckles. “Honestly, I don’t think we’ve ever tried. We’ve always had to keep them hidden. We always had to make sure no one found out that we were monsters.”

A little flare of anger sprouts in my chest. “You’re not a monster, Castiel. Don’t ever say that.” He smiles a little, but I know he doesn’t believe me. “It must be terrible having to keep them covered all the time.”

He shrugs. “You get used to it. They do get awfully restless, though. It’s not comfortable. And when we’re in battle, sometimes it can be weeks before I get an opportunity to let them out.”

“Ouch. I was going to try to clean them for you, but I didn’t want to damage them.”

Cas looks at me, quiet for a moment. “That’s kind of you. But I couldn’t ask you to do that. I know it’s weird.”

“It’s not that weird. And you don’t have to ask. I’m offering,” I add hopefully. “But…you know, I get it if you don’t want me to. If we’re the first people to find out, I’m sure it’s kind of strange for someone else to clean them.”

He considers it, staring at me. “It would be strange. But…they are rather uncomfortable…” I look up at him hopefully. “Truthfully, I haven’t been taking care of them the way I should…” he continues. “And I don’t think I can stretch well enough right now to do it myself.”

“Is…that a yes?” I ask.

He sighs. “I guess it can’t hurt,” he says finally. “You already know all my secrets. If you don’t mind, I mean.”

I grin. “No, of course I don’t mind. Just tell me what to do.”

I help him sit up a little, sitting behind him and listening carefully as he instructs. “It’s probably easiest to comb your fingers through them first and take out all the bad ones.”

“It doesn’t hurt?”

He shakes his head. “They’re probably pretty loose anyway.” I nod, but I’m still careful as I run my fingers through his feathers. A few of them drift to the floor, and the rest fall into place, looking less disheveled. Cas tenses a little, watching me over his shoulder. “They really don’t bother you?” he asks softly. “I don’t understand. Most people would never touch them. They’d think I was cursed, or worse.”

I chuckle. “Yeah, well I’m not one of those people. They don’t bother me. Actually, I think they’re fitting. They’re pretty cool.” He blushes as I move on to the other wing. “Okay,” I say when I’m done. “What now?”

He hesitates. “Well, they…they produce their own oil to keep them clean, but it has to be worked through the feathers.”

“Okay. Where does it come from?”

He looks away, but I swear I caught a blush. “There’s a little bump right underneath…if you work it a little it should start. Sorry.”

I frown. “What are you sorry for?”

“All of this,” he answers, gesturing vaguely to his wings.

I sigh. “I already told you, I don’t care. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He stays quiet, so I busy myself locating and lightly massaging the little bump under his skin at the base of one wing. He gasps softly, and I pause. “Sorry, did that hurt? I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

“No,” he says softly, though he sounds unsure. “You’re doing fine. It’s just…unusual.” I nod, spreading the oil between my hands and lightly working my fingers through the soft feathers at the base of his wing. He sighs softly, relaxing a little, and I smile to myself as I work. “So how’s the pain?”

He shrugs. “Royal knights don’t concern themselves with pain.”

I roll my eyes at him. “Yeah. Okay. Says the man who was just stabbed. Now tell me honestly.”

“It hurts. Badly,” he admits reluctantly. “But this is helping. It’s…distracting.”

I smile, moving a little more confidently through his feathers. “There. That looks much better,” I say as I work through the ends. Now neatly in place, the feathers are a glossy black and look much healthier than before.

Cas looks over his shoulder, inspecting my work. “That’s probably the best they’ve been in a long time. Thank you,” he says softly.

“Don’t thank me yet. I still have to do the other one.” He smiles, ducking his head and shifting slightly to settle more comfortably between my legs. It’s a little awkward, but this is the calmest I’ve ever seen him, and I can’t bring myself to say anything. Instead, I get to work repeating the process on the other side.

Sam returns when I’m halfway through, by which point Cas is more relaxed, leaning back against me with his eyes closed, his head tipped back against my shoulder. He startles a little when he hears the door, and I have to react quickly to avoid pulling the feathers out. “Hey Dean. How’s…” he pauses, puzzled for a moment when he sees us, but recovers quickly. “Oh. Good morning, Castiel. How are you feeling?” Cas watches him anxiously for a moment, and Sam seems to get the hint. “It’s alright, your secret is safe with us.”

I resume my job, and Cas relaxes again. “My apologies. You’ve both been very understanding. It’s just…odd.”

Sam nods. “That’s alright, we understand. You look a bit better today. How’s it feel?”

“It’s…okay,” he answers. “It still hurts, but Dean’s been helping distract me.”

“Yeah, I can see that. What are you doing, Dean?”

I grin at him. “Grooming. Don’t they look better?”

He laughs. “Yeah, I guess, though I don’t really know what they’re supposed to look like.” He sits down at the edge of the bed and holds out a cup. “Here, drink this.” Cas looks at it doubtfully, and Sam laughs. “It’s just water, I promise. It’ll help.” He nods, quickly draining the cup and handing it back. “There you go. I know it’s not comfortable right now, but once you’ve healed a little more we’ll see if we can relieve some of the pain.”

Cas smiles a little. “I understand. You’ve been wonderful. Both of you.”

He blushes a little, but gets distracted when Gabriel comes through the door. The older man looks first relieved at seeing Cas, and then alarmed when he notices the wingspan. “Castiel…what…”

“It’s okay, Gabriel,” he says softly. “They know, but…it’s okay. They’re not going to expose us.”

Gabriel frowns. “You’re sure?”

“We promise,” I assure him. “You can trust us.”

He hesitates, but nods. “Alright,” he says finally. “If Castiel trusts you, then I can too. Thank you.”

His approval seems to please Cas, who relaxes again. “Are yours in as bad a state as his were?” I ask.

Gabriel goes red, and Sam looks between us for a moment before he puts the pieces together. “You have wings too?”

The older man nods sheepishly. “Yeah…I’ve been busy…”

“Well come on then. I’m a little occupied, but I’m sure Sam would help you.” Sam turns to glare at me, and I grin. “Come on Sam, we both know you’re curious. It’s not hard. Besides, you’d be helping. That’s our job, right?”

I feel rather than hear Cas’ chuckle as they look at each other. “Well…sure, I guess, if you want me to,” Sam says uncertainly.

Gabriel hesitates, looking at Cas for a moment, who nods. I don’t know exactly what it means, but it seems to convince Gabriel. “Okay,” he says finally. “If you don’t mind…I could use a hand.”

Sam nods, shifting over to let Gabriel settle beside him, and Cas looks back at me grinning. Though I’m not sure why, I grin back anyway. When I finish working the oil into the tip of his wing, I sit back and watch them, carding my fingers through his feathers absently. His wings seem to have calmed, occasionally flapping leisurely, brushing back against me, and Gabriel certainly seems to be warming up to the idea. When Sam is finished his wings are a bright gold. “There you go. How’s that?”

“Much better,” Gabriel grins. “Thank you. You’ve both been exceptionally understanding.”

Sam shrugs. “We know how terrible people can be. We could never do that to you.” Cas frowns, but stays quiet. “Well,” Sam says after a moment, “Is anyone else hungry? You should try to eat a little Cas. I’ll go fix something.” He gets up, pausing at the door. “Can you give me a hand, Gabe?” Gabriel nods, smiling, and gets up to follow him.

They disappear, and Cas turns to look at me. “What did he mean when he said you know how terrible people can be?”

I frown, looking away. “What, the town gossipers haven’t warned you yet? It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“We don’t really spend much time with other people,” he says shortly.

He sounds almost hurt, and when I look up at him I realize that he is. “What’s wrong?” I ask.

“It’s nothing,” he mimics. “It’s just…I’ve never been able to do this. To be open with someone. Not even Gabe, really. You know the biggest secret I’ve ever had, something I’ve never told anyone, but you don’t want me to know something that apparently everyone else already knows.”

I sigh softly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think about it like that. It’s just…usually when people hear they don’t want to be around me anymore. I didn’t want that to happen.”

He considers it, watching me for a moment. “Dean, you’re still here even though you found out I’m a freak. I’m trusting you with my life here. You can trust me not to leave, whatever this is.”

The alarms go off in my head, but I do my best to silence them. He’s right. He trusts me not to betray him. I have to at least do the same. “When I was a kid,” I murmur, “There was a big fire. Sammy was just a baby. The rest of us made it out, but my mother died. And for some reason, they’ve always believed it was my fault.”

He nods slowly. “Do you believe it’s your fault?”

I shrug. “Maybe. I don’t know. But ever since then, they’ve looked at me that way. Even when we’re trying to help. Sammy is the one they trust. I’m just his assistant. They know if they want his help, they’ll have to tolerate me. But I can tell. None of them want to be around me.”

“I do,” he says softly. “And I’m sorry they’ve done that to you. You don’t deserve it.”

“Yeah, well…I get it. Why you don’t want them to find out. They’d probably do worse to you than they did to me. Just know I’d never do that to you.”

He smiles a little. “I know. And I don’t care what they say. I still like you.”

I chuckle, lightly threading my fingers through the soft feathers and chuckling at his shiver. “Okay. Thanks.” Cas manages to eat a little bit before he falls asleep again, effectively trapping me along with him. Not that I mind. I toy lightly with the feathers as he sleeps, listening to Sam and Gabriel talk quietly across the room. After a few hours, the temperature seems to go up, which doesn’t make any sense until I realize that it’s Cas’ body heat. I lightly press my hand to his forehead, frowning, a sense of dread settling in my stomach. “Sam? Does he feel a little hot to you?”


	3. Fever Pitch

Sam reaches out, lightly touching Cas’ forehead and frowning. “Let me check it.” I carefully slip out from behind him, laying him back against the pillows and tugging the blanket down to expose the once-white bandage that’s now streaked with blood. Sam gently removes it, and we both wince. He sighs. “We were doing so well.”

“Yeah, well we’re not done yet. Start mixing.”

He disappears for a moment, returning with two wet towels, an empty bowl, and various ingredients, which he quickly begins combining. I fold one of the towels in half and press it against his forehead. “Cas? Wake up, buddy.”

He stirs a little. “Mmm…?” I shake him lightly, and he groans. “Stop it,” he mutters. “I’m sleeping.”

I almost laugh, relieved that he’s at least talking. “Sorry, but we really need you to stay awake a little while longer, okay? It’s important.”

He blinks, slowly becoming aware. “It hurts worse.”

“I know,” I answer. “It looks like it’s gotten infected.” His eyes widen, fully awake now. “Hey, I told you dying is forbidden, remember? We’re going to take care of it, but I need you to stay awake.”

He nods quickly, alarmed, and I press the cloth against his forehead again as Sam examines the wound. “I’m going to have to clean this out again,” he mutters under his breath.

It’s not quiet enough, because Cas hears him, going pale at the idea. I know I have to act fast to stop him from panicking, so I scoot around a worried-looking Gabriel and sit down on the opposite side of the bed, grabbing his hand hard. It works, and his attention is briefly torn away from Sam. “Hey, you listen to me, alright?” I murmur. “It’s going to be okay. I know it’s going to hurt, but we have to do it. Just hang in there. Focus on me. I won’t let go until it’s over. I promise.”

Getting someone to trust you when they’re feeling well is one thing. Getting them to trust you when they’re terrified and facing a lot of pain is something entirely different. I’ve never been particularly good at either, but Cas nods anyway, gripping my hand just as tightly. I murmur to him soothingly as Sam starts cleaning the wound, any nonsense I can think of, just to remind him that I’m here. Sam and Gabriel both cringe at his cries, and I do my best to block them out. The second Sam backs away, I breathe a sigh of relief.

“Easy Cas, he’s all done. You’re okay.” He only grips me tighter, burying his face against my shoulder. I hug him gently, though it’s slightly awkward from this angle, feeling his shallow, hiccupping breaths against my neck. “Hey, listen to me,” I murmur, hugging him tighter. “It’s okay. I’ve got you. It’s done, alright? It’s over. Just calm down.” He nods a little, so at least I know he’s hearing me, and slowly his grip relaxes. “There you go. Can you take a deep breath for me?” he pulls back a little, looking up at me as he obeys. I smile. “Are you alright?”

He nods. “Sorry,” he whispers.

“Don’t be,” I answer, brushing his damp hair back. I sit back beside him again, looking up at Sam, who’s just finished mixing the proper ingredients.

Cas follows my gaze nervously. “W-What’s that?”

“It’s a salve made from honey, turmeric root and different herbs. It’ll draw out the infection, and the turmeric should help with the pain,” Sam explains. “It’s a bit earlier than I wanted to use it, but we have to get rid of the infection.” Cas swallows nervously. “Don’t worry,” Sam assures him, “It shouldn’t hurt. Dean can put it on. Is that okay?”

He considers it, then nods, watching carefully as I take the mixture. “I’ll be gentle,” I assure him. “Tell me if it hurts.” I carefully spread the salve over the wound, glancing up at him to make sure he’s not in pain. I cover it with a clean bandage, handing the rest of the mixture back to Sam. “There you go. Now we just have to keep you cool and let it work.”

He nods, giving a small smile. “Thank you. And thanks, Sam.”

“No problem. Sorry about the pain. I tried to make it quick.”

Cas shakes his head. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. You’re only trying to save my life.”

Sam smiles, patting his shoulder lightly. “We’re certainly doing the best we can. Don’t worry. You’re in good hands.” He looks over at Gabriel, who’s still standing frozen. “Hey, he’s going to be just fine.” He nods a little, jumping when Sam slips an arm around his shoulders. “Come on, I think there’s a beer with your name on it out there.”

We watch them disappear into the hall, and I lightly run my fingers through Cas’ feathers again. “He’s happy, you know,” he murmurs.

“Who?”

“Gabriel. He’s worried, but he’s happy. He’s always liked Sam. And now he doesn’t have to hide things from him. He finally has one friend.”

I chuckle. “I think Sam’s pretty happy too. And you have a friend too.”

He blushes, looking away. “I suppose so.”

“Well, I’m gonna go get some fresh water to help you cool down. I’ll be right back, okay?”

He nods, so I go to the kitchen and fill a bowl with water, grabbing fresh towels. By the time I return, Cas is half asleep, his face flushed. I lightly press the cloth to his head, and he groans. “I don’t feel good…”

“I know, Cas,” I murmur. “Your temperature is still going up. Hopefully the salve will kick in soon and break the fever.”

He stays quiet for a long time while I try to keep his temperature down, but it doesn’t seem to be working at all. When he starts fading in and out of consciousness I know we need to do something else, and fast. I call for Sam, instructing him to fill the bathtub. “Dean…?” Cas murmurs.

“Yeah? I’m here.”

He pauses like it takes a lot of effort to find the words. “You have to remember, it’s not your fault.”

I frown. “What are you talking about?”

He looks up at me, blue eyes hazy and unfocused. “Your mom…You can’t listen to them. You were just a child. It wasn’t your fault.”

“You don’t have to worry about that right now,” I murmur. “We can talk about it later.”

He shakes his head. “No…I had to tell you, just in case…no one else would…”

“Don’t you dare start that. What did I tell you about dying? You’re not allowed to quit on me, and you’re not allowed to start saying goodbye either.”

He doesn’t seem to hear me, and when Sam returns, followed by Gabriel, the three of us manage to wrestle him into the bathtub. Cas seems perplexed by the change, but doesn’t say anything. “So what now?” Gabriel asks anxiously.

“We have to keep his temperature down as much as we can until the salve starts working and the fever breaks. If we can do that, he should be alright,” Sam explains.

Gabe nods. “And how long is that going to take?”

I shrug. “A couple of hours, maybe. A day or two at the most. I think we caught it pretty early, so hopefully not long.”

He frowns, watching Cas intently. “We can’t keep him, Gabe…” the knight mumbles. “You know mom doesn’t like dogs…”

“What’s he talking about?”

Gabriel shrugs. “We found a dog when we were kids…I wanted to keep it. Why is he saying that now?”

“He’s delirious,” Sam answers. “He doesn’t really know what’s going on.” I sigh, sitting on the floor beside the tub and stroking the feathers of Cas’ nearest wing, more to calm myself than to calm him. “He’ll be okay,” Sam murmurs. “He’s tough. He only has to hang in there a little longer.”

I nod, hoping he’s right, and we settle into a long night of watching him, changing out the water, responding to his delirious queries, monitoring his changes in consciousness, and trying to stay awake on the bathroom floor. Sam and Gabriel eventually fail at this last point, and they both fall asleep on the floor. I grab a free towel and throw it over them like a blanket before returning to watching Cas. “I love you Dean,” he mumbles sometime in the early morning.

“Yeah. Love you too, Cas,” I murmur back.

He blinks for a moment, confused. “I’m all wet.”

“I know, buddy. You were sick, so you have to stay in the bathtub for right now.”

He pauses. “Okay.” Suddenly, he turns to look at me. “Remember when I said you knew all my secrets?”

He leans close, waiting for a response, and I frown. “Yeah…”

Cas searches my face for a moment. “I lied.” Suddenly he presses forward, his lips just barely brushing mine. I’m too shocked for a moment to respond, and when I pull back a little to look at him he just smiles, giving me that same unfocused stare as before. “I like the bees,” he says cheerfully.

I shake my head, trying to figure out exactly what just happened. I can’t seem to manage it, so instead I keep him talking, hoping that he’ll say something else useful. “Why do you like the bees, Cas?” I ask.

“They’re nice,” he says seriously.

I nod. “I see. Maybe once you feel better we’ll go see the bees.”

“Okay.”

The sun is just beginning to rise when Cas shudders and looks around, bewildered. “Dean? Why am I in the bathtub?”

I look up, startled. “Cas? You back with us? How do you feel?”

“Cold and wet,” he deadpans. “What’s going on?”

I reach out, pressing my hand to his forehead. “Thank God,” I sigh. “Your fever’s breaking. It got too high, so we had to keep you in here until the medicine kicked in. You were delirious.”

He frowns. “I don’t remember that.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I say quickly, thankful that he doesn’t remember what he did. “The important thing is that you’re okay. Let’s get you out of there.” I wake Sam and Gabriel, and together we manage to lift him out, drying him off and changing him into some dry pants. When Sam goes to retrieve a fresh bandage to replace the waterlogged one, Cas looks like he might throw up. “Easy, Cas. It’s not going to be as bad as last time. You’ll see.” He nods, but still keeps a tight grip on my hand as Sam carefully removes the old bandage, lightly dabbing the remains of the old salve away and putting a fresh layer over it before covering it again. “See, I told you.”

He smiles sheepishly. “Thank you, Sam.”

“Of course,” Sam smiles. “I’m glad you’re doing better. Now, we could all use some rest. I’m sure Dean wouldn’t mind staying with you. Gabe and I will be just outside if you need anything.”

Cas is quiet for a long time. “So…what now?” he says finally. “I’m okay?”

I nod. “Your fever broke, which means you’re fighting off the infection and winning. We’ll keep cleaning it and reapplying the salve for a while to make sure it doesn’t come back, but you should be just fine.” He nods, relieved. “So you don’t remember anything that happened before you snapped out of it?”

He thinks. “Well…I remember a couple of things, I think…”

I feel myself go red. “Oh. Anything…interesting?”

“I’m sure I did a lot of interesting things,” he says vaguely.

I nod. “Yeah, you did. You were telling me about bees.”

He smiles. “My mother used to keep bees. We used to sell the honey.”

“Ah, so that’s where that came from. That’s nice.” I hesitate. “You know, you said something else interesting too.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. You, uh…you said that I didn’t know all your secrets and then…well…”

He blushes. “I kissed you,” he finishes softly. I nod. “I remember that. I’m sorry.”

I smile, trying to ease the awkwardness. “No, it’s fine. You were pretty out of it. I’m not mad.”

He stares at me for a second. “Actually, I think I was mostly there for that part,” he says softly. I frown, trying to understand what he means. He sighs, looking away. “I just…I had a moment of clarity, and all I could think was that I was going to die. I didn’t want to take that secret to my grave. And I figured if I died, it wouldn’t do any harm. I’m sorry.”

I take a deep breath. “So…that wasn’t the fever talking? You really…wanted to?”

He goes redder, nodding sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I don’t want to stop being your friend. But I understand if you don’t want to,” he says softly.

I think back to our exchange earlier in the night.

I love you, Dean.

Yeah, I love you too Cas.

I didn’t think before how easily the words came, or how true they were. But they were. In two days the winged knight somehow made me care more about him than I ever have about anyone besides Sammy. As alarming as the thought is, it’s also not unwanted. I spent all this time refusing to let him die without ever realizing exactly how much I wanted him to stay. I look up at him again to find him watching me cautiously, expecting anger. “Do you still want to?”

He frowns, puzzled. “Dean, I’m not going to…”

“That’s not what I asked,” I interrupt. “Do you still want to kiss me?”

He goes red again. “Yes,” he whispers. “Very much. But I know-” That’s all he gets out before his voice cuts out when I lean closer. He takes a shaky breath, but doesn’t move away. “Dean?” he chokes out. Very lightly, I press my lips to his, feeling him shudder beside me before responding eagerly. We’re both cautious at first, but soon I feel him relaxing. He tries to lean closer, but he strains against his stitches too much and pulls away, wincing.

“Careful.” I rest my forehead against his, lightly running my fingers along his arm. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

He stares back at me, blue eyes wide. “Dean…I don’t understand.”

I grin. “Yeah, me either. But I think I like it.”

“So you’re…not angry?” he asks cautiously.

I kiss him softly again. “Do I look angry?”

He pulls back a little. “No…but…this isn’t normal.”

I laugh. “Cas? You have wings, and everyone thinks I’m cursed. What part of that strikes you as normal?”

Slowly, he smiles. “So…this is okay?”

“I suppose that depends. Is it okay with you?”

I barely finish the sentence before he’s kissing me again. “God, yes,” he breaths.

“Alright then,” I chuckle. “But you really do need to rest.”

He smiles. “Okay. But first…” he shifts closer, pressing against my side, his lips back on mine with an almost desperate enthusiasm. My fingers tangle in his disheveled hair, drawing him closer. He makes a low, keening sound, his palms resting lightly against my chest. When I pull back again he’s panting and out of breath, but grinning.

I laugh. “We’re going to have to take it easy until you’re feeling better. Don’t want to wear you out too much.” He whines. “Just consider it motivation.”

He grumbles about it, but I can tell he’s tired, and his head slowly drops to rest against my chest. “What are we going to do about Gabriel and Sam?” he asks.

I shush him softly. “That’s tomorrow’s problem. Let’s not worry about it tonight.” He nods, sighing softly as I run my fingers through his feathers.

“Love you Dean,” he murmurs sleepily.

I smile. “Love you too, Cas.”


	4. Shatter

“Alright Cas, we’ve avoided it long enough.”

Over the past few weeks, Cas has healed remarkably well and has started getting back on his feet. We were spared the decision of telling Sam and Gabriel about us when they walked in one day to find us in the middle of a particularly heated make-out session. Thankfully, neither of them were particularly surprised. The four of us settled into a comfortable routine, with Cas and Gabriel having all but moved in by the time Sam decides that Cas’ stitches can be taken out. That was two days ago, and Cas has done everything in his power to put it off as long as possible. Having run out of excuses and changes of subject, he reluctantly sits down on the bed, reaching out for my hand. I wrap an arm around him, kissing his temple softly. “Relax baby,” I murmur while Sam is sanitizing his tools. “It won’t be that bad.”

He looks at me doubtfully, so I pull him closer, leaning him back against my chest while Sam removes the bandage. I plant soft kisses along his neck and shoulder, smiling as the anxious beating of his wings slows. He watches carefully as Sam begins to cut the stitches one by one and gently tug them free. “Okay Cas, you’re all done. How’s it feel?”

“A little sore, but not bad. So you’re sure it’s okay now?” he asks.

Sam nods. “I’m sure. You should still take it easy for a while, but you’ve healed better than we could have hoped. You’re just fine.”

I feel Cas relax against me, looking up as Gabriel comes in. “Morning. I brought breakfast! What’d I miss?”

“Cas finally let me take his stitches out,” Sam informs him, digging into the bag he brought.

Gabriel chuckles. “Imagine that. Well done, Cassie.” Cas glares at him, but busies himself with eating breakfast. “So, have you thought about what you’re going to do now that you’re healed?”

He shrugs. “I figured I’d go back to doing what I did before.”

Gabriel looks up, alarmed. “You’re joking, right? Cas, you can’t go back there. They left you to die!”

Cas sighs like they’ve discussed this before. “It’s my duty, Gabriel. I help people. Besides, you should be thankful they didn’t try to save me. They would have run us both out of town!”

“He’s got a point, Cas,” I murmur, stroking his wings soothingly. “If it was up to them you’d be dead. And they haven’t even checked to see if you made it or not. Besides, I don’t want to sit here and worry about whether or not you’re alive.”

Cas frowns. “It’s the only thing I’ve ever done. What else am I supposed to do?”

“Stay,” I answer before I can think. “You can work with Sammy and I. You can still help people.”

He looks at me for a moment, considering it. “Well…I don’t know the first thing about healing.”

“So what? We can teach you, right Sammy?”

Sam grins. “Yeah, of course. I know Dean would like to have you around all day.”

I glare at him, and Cas blushes a little. “Okay. If you want me to, I mean.”

Gabriel looks relieved. “Good.” Cas raises an eyebrow at him. “What? If you’re not going to stay at home, I’d rather you be with people who care about you.”

“Besides,” I mutter, grinning at him, “It’ll give him an excuse to come see Sam all the time.”

Cas laughs, and Gabriel and Sam both go red. “Shut up,” Sam mutters halfheartedly.

“Okay then, it’s settled. You’ll stay and everything will be fine. Now, you two lovebirds, out. He may be doing better but he still needs his rest.” Gabe and Sam share eyerolls at my reasoning, but I don’t care. It’s been far too long since I’ve had Cas to myself.

The second the door closes, Cas sighs, relaxing back against me. I chuckle, kissing behind his ear, and he shivers. “I don’t understand why they refuse to acknowledge it,” he murmurs. “Gabriel has always loved Sam.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “What are you talking about? They barely ever spoke before he brought you here.”

Cas shrugs. “Maybe, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t know you. Both of you. You used to come to our house all the time when we were children.”

“How is it possible that I came to your house all the time and don’t remember meeting you?”

He blushes a little. “Because you didn’t meet me. Your father used to be my mother’s best customer when she sold honey. I suppose he used it in your medicines. He’d come by every week, and sometimes he’d bring you and Sam. You used to play in the yard while they talked. Gabriel and I would watch you out the window.” I frown at that, and he sighs. “It wasn’t how it sounds. We weren’t prisoners. Our mother encouraged us to play with other children, but we were too afraid. We knew if anyone found out about us, we’d have to leave. So we spent as little time as possible with other people. It was our choice.” He smiles a little. “It was a hard choice though, when you were there. We wanted to be your friends. And Gabriel always admired Sam.”

I smile at that. “I guess it worked out in the end, then.” Suddenly, I recall something; a pair of wide blue eyes in an upstairs window that disappeared once I blinked. But then Sammy fell and started crying, and it was forgotten. A woman with a warm smile gave us each a honey-flavored cookie, telling us that her sons loved them. Neither of us ever wondered about the mysterious sons she spoke of. I look up at Cas, who’s watching me curiously. “I remember her,” I tell him softly. “Your mother. She was wonderful. She reminded me of my mother.”

“She would have been happy we ended up here,” he murmurs. “She liked you.”

I smile. “I’m glad. I remember you too, a little. I remember seeing you watching us from the window.” I frown, thinking about something he said. “My dad came every week? Did he…know about you?”

He looks away. “Your father was very kind. It was just the three of us, and he’d come to check up on us. My mother insisted that we keep our wings free in the house. She didn’t want us to hide who we were. And one day he dropped by unexpectedly and saw us. He was shocked, of course, but my mother explained everything, and he promised he’d never tell. He protected us. He was a good man. I’m sure he’d be happy to know that his sons became good men too.”

“He never even mentioned you. I had no idea he knew.”

He smiles. “That was the idea, wasn’t it?”

“Alright smartass,” I chuckle, rolling my eyes at him. “That’s not what I wanted to talk about, anyway.”

“What did you want to talk about?” he asks.

I grin at him. “Well when I said I wanted to ‘talk’…” I lean in close, softly pressing my lips to his. He breathes a relieved sigh, shifting closer until he’s straddling my lap. When he pulls back, he’s grinning.

“I think I understand.” I chuckle, pulling him forward against my chest until I can feel his heart thumping in his chest. After another minute, he breaks the kiss again. “Dean? You said we only had to take it easy until I was healed…”

“Is that what you want, Castiel? There’s no rush. It’s up to you.”

He blushes. “I want to be with you Dean,” he murmurs. “It’s just that I’ve never…”

I nod, stroking his cheek lightly with the pads of my fingers. “I understand. I’ve never done it with another man before either.”

He shakes his head. “That’s not what I meant.”

It takes a moment of looking at his serious expression before I understand. “Oh. Ohh. You mean you’ve never…with anyone?”

He blushes deeper and looks away. “The wings have always…complicated things in the past. Not to mention that expressing my particular…interests would not be acceptable.”

I lean in, kissing him softly again. “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to be embarrassed.”

“It…doesn’t bother you?” he asks hesitantly.

“Baby, of course not,” I murmur gently. “I’m honored that you want to do this with me. I promise I’ll take care of you. We can go as slow as you want.”

Cas smiles. “I know. I trust you, Dean. Really, I do.”

“Good,” I smile back. “One step at a time, then.”

“Okay,” he agrees. “But later. For now, I want to learn everything you know about healing.”

I chuckle. “That could take a while.”

“Well, luckily it seems I’ll have some free time,” he grins. “Though, I’ll have to use some of it to figure out what to do with all of my battle stuff.”

“Keep it,” I answer. He raises an eyebrow at me, and I grin. “What? I like a man in armor.”

* * *

 

“Mr. Winchester,” the woman who answers the door greets, then frowns. “Who is this? Where is your brother?”

I have to remind myself to smile. “Sam is busy with another patient, but we heard this was an emergency. This is our new partner, Castiel.” The woman hesitates, looking between us for a moment like she’s not sure she wants to let us in. “Ma’am? Your daughter?”

Finally she nods, opening the door to let us through. “Yes, of course. I warned her about climbing the fence,” she says sternly, glaring at the little girl wailing in the corner. No more than four or five, she clutches at her arm, strands of blonde hair stuck to her cheeks with tears and dried blood from the scrape on her forehead. “You shouldn’t be crying. I told you you’d get hurt if you didn’t listen to me.” The girl gives no response besides another harsh sob. Cas looks sad when he glances over at me.

Before I can ask her to step out, a boy a few years older than the girl runs in. “Momma, Henry and Jack are fighting again!” His mother sighs, muttering under her breath as she hurries away, leaving us with the girl.

“What do we do?” Cas murmurs, watching her worriedly.

I shrug. “First we have to get her to calm down. It’ll be impossible otherwise.”

He nods, cautiously sitting beside the girl. “Um…hello? Please don’t cry…” he says cautiously. Her cries quiet a little, and she looks up at him with wide, tearful eyes.

“It’s alright,” I assure her. “We’re here to help. What’s your name?”

She hesitates for a moment. “E-Emily,” she stutters.

“Okay Emily. I’m Dean, and this is Cas. Does your arm hurt?” She nods. “Alright. We can fix it for you, but first you have to calm down for us, okay? You’re gonna be just fine.” Hiccups wrack her tiny frame as she tries to stifle her sobs. After a minute or two, they slow to an understandable level. “There you go,” I smile. “Now, we have to take a look at where it hurts.”

The girl whimpers, leaning into Cas’ side. He stiffens, surprised for a moment. Slowly, his hand comes up to rub her back lightly. “It’s okay Emily. We’re not going to hurt you. Dean is really good at this. He fixed me when I was hurt.”

She looks up at him, considering this. “Promise?”

He smiles. “I promise. You can trust him.”

Finally, she nods, grabbing his hand as I carefully inspect her arm. Thankfully, it’s not broken, and we manage to wrap it quickly and clean the blood from her forehead before her mother returns. When she does return, she seems at once perplexed by the lack of hysterical crying. “Well? Is she alright?”

“She’s going to be fine,” I assure her. “It’s just a sprain, and she didn’t hit her head too hard. We recommend that she rest the arm for a few days, but she’s okay.”

She nods, thanking us while shuffling us out the door. When it closes behind us, Cas shakes his head. “You know, Gabriel hates that woman.”

“Why’s that?”

He shrugs. “He says she always brings all her kids into the bakery and then refuses to get them anything they want. He says it’s cruel.”

“That sounds like her, alright,” I chuckle. “You did well with the kid, though. I’m impressed.”

He smiles. “Thank you. I’m glad to be of some help.”

“Of course you’re helpful. And you’re still learning. Don’t worry so much. We’re not about to toss you out on the street.” I open the door, pulling the front curtains closed as Cas pulls his shirt over his head. Though he insists on keeping them covered during the day in case an emergency patient is brought to the house, I’ve managed to convince him to let his wings out each night. He grumbled about it when I insisted he start taking better care of them, but since I’ve volunteered to groom them myself he’s had no complaints. He says it’s less boring if I do it, but I think he just likes it when I touch them. We’re both startled by a loud noise coming from the back room. Cas instinctively grabs his sword from beside the door, where it’s been leaning since the night I took it off of him. We creep towards the room, the sounds getting louder. Cas opens the door quickly, brandishing his sword, but he freezes upon seeing the tangled mass of limbs and bed sheets that is Gabriel and Sam. He goes red, faltering in the doorway, and they follow his lead, freezing in the complicated position they’ve worked themselves into and blushing furiously. The whole thing is so ridiculous that I can’t help but laugh, and once I start I find I can’t stop. Soon I’m doubled over with laughter, tears streaming down my face. They all stare at me, somewhere between embarrassed and puzzled. “You were…” I try to explain through gasped breaths, “And Cas…and the sword!”

I dissolve into childish giggles again, and Gabriel frowns. “Well don’t just stand there! Get out!” he snaps. Cas hesitates for a moment before nodding, hauling me up by my arm and dragging me into the kitchen.

He waits until I’ve caught my breath again before tilting his head to one side. “Are you finished?”

“God, I hope not,” I grin. “I haven’t laughed that hard in years!”

He rolls his eyes. “As amusing as you found it, I never needed to see that.” He shudders a little, looking completely traumatized.

I chuckle, pulling him close. “Don’t worry, Cas. We’ll get those bastards back.” He shivers, and I smile, kissing him softly. “Now I don’t know about you, but I’ve worked up an appetite. Let’s eat.”

Dinner is quieter than usual, with me trying to control my laughter and everyone else too embarrassed to talk to each other. Afterwards, Sam and Gabriel disappear through their door for the night. “You two behave yourselves!” I call after them. “We’re listening!”

Cas chuckles softly, watching me from across the table, and suddenly the house is too stifling. I grab his hand, pulling him towards the back door. “Dean? Where are we going?” he asks.

“Outside!” I answer.

“But…my wings…hold on a minute, let me find a shirt.”

I whine, tugging him towards the door again. “It’s the back of the house, Cas, and it’s dark. No one is going to see us. Please?”

He hesitates, but nods, following me outside. “Is there a particular reason you wanted to come outside?” I nod, tilting my head back to look up at the sky. He follows my gaze, gasping softly. “It’s beautiful,” he murmurs. I run my fingers lightly through his feathers, and he looks over at me. “You know, I haven’t looked at the stars like this since I was a child. I used to dream about flying up there, where I wouldn’t have to hide.” He smiles. “I never imagined finding a place down here where I didn’t have to hide.” I smile back, pulling him closer and softly pressing my lips to his. He responds eagerly, one arm snaking around my waist and pulling me closer while the fingers of the other tangle in my hair. I have to hold back a moan as his teeth tug at my bottom lip, his body pressed as close as possible to mine. Slowly, he pulls back a fraction of an inch to look at me, his eyes wide and dark. “Please, Dean,” he whispers. “I’m done hiding.”

 

“Are you sure this is what you want?” I murmur back. He nods solemnly, and I grin, kissing him again. “Alright. You never have to hide from me, Cas. Let’s go back inside.” He grips my hand tightly, closing the bedroom door softly behind us.

The next morning, I wake to a pleasant warmth where Cas is draped over my chest, fast asleep. I stroke his cheek lightly, and his eyelashes flutter against my fingertips as he wakes up. “Good morning,” I murmur softly. “How are you feeling?”

He yawns, grinning lazily up at me. “Amazing,” he whispers. “That was incredible.”

I chuckle, kissing him lightly. “It was. I love you.”

“I love you too,” he murmurs. His eyes close again, and I rub his back lightly. “Dean? What we did last night…can we do that again? Soon?” he asks.

“As often as you want,” I answer. His fingers trace lazy patterns over my ribs, his soft breaths falling under my collarbone. “If it’s up to me, we’re going to be doing a lot of this.”

He laughs softly. “Good. So we’re in agreement then.” He watches me for a moment, his chin resting against my chest. “You can relax, you know. You didn’t hurt me.”

I smile, brushing his hair back. “You know me too well. Are you sure?”

“I’m sure, Dean,” he answers. “I’ve never felt better. I swear.” He pauses for a moment. “You don’t have to hide from me either,” he murmurs.

“I know,” I assure him. “I won’t.”

He smiles, satisfied with this. “What time is it?”

“Too early,” I whine. “Time to be sleeping.”

He chuckles. “Come on. It smells like Gabriel is cooking breakfast.”

He slowly slips off the bed, the edges of his wings trailing over my skin. He reaches over, threading his fingers through mine when we enter the kitchen, the sun streaming in from the window to light Gabriel, standing at the stove. “Morning,” he greets absently. He glances at Cas, then does a double-take, his eyes widening. “Did you two…oh my God you did!”

Cas blushes, and I grin, wrapping an arm around his waist. He leans against me, sighing contentedly as his head rests against my shoulder. “So what’s your lover up to?” I ask.

Gabriel rolls his eyes at me. “He had to go out early to check on a patient. He should be back any minute.”

Sure enough, the door creaks as Sam comes in. “Good morning,” he smiles. “You two look happy.”

Cas groans and buries his head against my shoulder, and I stroke his feathers soothingly. “Don’t embarrass him! At least we were quiet about it, unlike you.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “I’m only kidding, Cas. I’m happy for you guys.”

He crosses the room to stand beside Gabriel, striking up a quiet conversation as Cas and I sit down at the table. He smiles, his fingers lightly stroking up and down my arm as he leans over to kiss my cheek. It’s the nicest moment I’ve had in years, until the dark shape at the window catches my eye and brings it all crashing down. I look up, surprised, and lock eyes with Emily’s mother, who’s staring, wide-eyed through the window. It takes me a moment to realize what she’s so surprised about, and then I realize that Cas doesn’t have a shirt on, and the window is open. We stare at each other for a moment, but she disappears before I can do anything. I curse under my breath, realizing that the kitchen has gone silent, as everyone else noticed her too. Cas makes a small, terrified noise, and I pull him closer. “Shit. I’m so sorry, Cas. I should have realized…”

He shakes his head. “Not your fault,” he whispers. “I should have remembered.”

“I’m the one who opened it,” Gabriel murmurs. He draws closer to Sam, going pale. “God, that was stupid.”

“It doesn’t matter who did what,” Cas answers. He looks up at me. “What do we do, Dean?”

I sigh, trying to gather myself enough to form a plan. “We could try going after her, but I doubt we’d find her before she’d told someone.” I hesitate, hating myself for the words that come out of my mouth. “You and Gabriel need to run. They’ll come to investigate soon, and if they find you here they’ll kill you.”

“You’re coming with us, aren’t you?” he asks.

I sigh, looking at Sam, who nods. “I think it’s better if Sam and I stay here and buy you some time. If they have us, they won’t come looking for you just yet.”

He shakes his head hard. “No! You can’t do that. They’ll kill you too!”

“Maybe not,” I answer, trying to sound like I know what I’m doing. “They don’t actually know that we’ve done something. If we all run they’ll come after us immediately. If we stay you have a chance of getting out of here. It’s a chance we have to take.”

“But…we can’t…” He tries to argue, but we both know I’m right. “Please, Dean,” he says finally.

I sigh, pulling him closer and kissing him softly. “I love you, Cas. I won’t let them hurt you. Please. You have to run.”

“We’ll find them again,” Gabriel tries. “Right Dean?”

I nod, though I’m not sure of this at all. “Of course. Head east until you get to the next town. We’ll come find you there when all this blows over.”

He sighs softly. “What if you don’t?” he asks.

“We will,” I insist, though neither of us believes that. “Cas, please. They’re going to be here any minute. You have to go.” Finally, he nods, standing up shakily. I hug him tightly, trying to remember this. “Cas, if we don’t come in a month…”

He looks up sharply. “Don’t you dare. You’re not allowed to say goodbye.”

I almost laugh, hearing my own words thrown back at me. “Okay. Then I love you, Castiel.”

He almost smiles. “I love you, Dean.” He kisses me once more before joining Gabriel at the back door, looking back at me longingly before his brother tugs him away. I watch them disappear before looking back to Sam, who’s gripping the table tightly. He takes the pan from the stove, dishing out breakfast like it’s the only thing he can think to do. We sit down silently, pushing food around our plates until they knock at the door.


	5. Sacrifice

“Where are they?” they ask again.

It takes all my restraint not to spit in the face of the man in front of me, which unfortunately leaves nothing to filter my words. “Didn’t you hear me last hundred times you asked? I said fuck off.” This earns me another elbow to the ribs, just like it has every time before, but at least the pain is a distraction from thinking about never seeing Cas again. I feel a little guilty for lying to him, but I had to get him to go. Besides, I think we all knew that a town like this would never let any of us go. For a moment I’m strangely thankful for the ties at my wrists and ankles for at least keeping me in a more dignified position than crumpled on the ground, even if they are trapping me in it too. When I can breathe again, I open the eye that hasn’t swelled shut to look at the three men in front of me, who are, apparently, professional torturers. “You’ve been at this for a week. You should know by now that I’ll die before I tell you a damn thing. Everyone knows this is pointless. You all just enjoy seeing me in pain. You’ve been waiting for this day since I was five years old.”

The man in front moves so fast that I don’t see the punch coming until my jaw aches. Or maybe that’s just the concussion I suspect I have. “How dare you speak to us like that, you evil filth!” he growls as I spit out the blood collecting in my mouth. “If death is what you want, then you won’t have to wait too much longer. That was your last chance. Tomorrow you hang.” He nods to the two others, who yank me up from the chair and shove me down a hallway.

“Like you were ever planning to let me live, anyway,” I mutter, stumbling as they push me into the tiny cell, locking the door behind me. “Thanks for the lift, fellas. Same time tomorrow?” I scoot back into the corner, trying to catch my breath, which I know is impossible considering the state of my ribs. A shout rings off the stone walls, and I hope it’s not Sam. I should have told him to run too. Well done, Dean, the voice in my head says. Way to take care of your little brother. But Cas is safe. It’s the mantra I repeat over and over again when all I can see is the panicked look in his eyes when I screwed up again. This is why we don’t fall in love, Dean, the voice says. You could barely protect yourself. What made you think you could protect him too? I want to shout, just to make it go away, but I have a feeling that would only make my head feel worse. I consider seeing if I can bang my head hard enough on the stones to black out for a while, but I should probably enjoy my last few hours of life as much as I can.

I’m surprised when the door opens and another person tumbles in. It takes me a minute to recognize him as the long arms and legs sort themselves out, but I realize that it’s Sam. He coughs and dusts himself off, his eyes widening when he sees me. “Christ Dean, what did you say to them? You look like shit.”

“Sammy?” Though bruised and disheveled, with a busted lip, he looks better than I imagine I do. “You’re no beauty yourself. What are you doing here?”

He shrugs, hugging me tightly, loosening his grip when I groan. “I think they’re hoping I’ll convince you to talk. It’s good to see you.”

“You didn’t…tell them anything, did you?” I ask hesitantly.

“Of course not! They think you know more than I do.” He pauses. “So, tomorrow then? I hear we’re being charged with ‘consorting with demons’ and ‘sodomy’ among other things.”

I laugh, ignoring the twinge of pain in my ribs. “Ain’t that a bitch. At least we’ll go out with a bang.” He nods, watching me sadly. “Listen, Sammy…I’m sorry I dragged you into this.”

“Get over yourself Dean,” he answers. “You didn’t drag me into anything. I knew what would happen.” He pauses, his voice softening. “I love him. It was my choice.”

I nod slowly. “Yeah, I guess. Did you hear anything about them? They haven’t been caught, right?”

“Considering they’re still trying so hard to get us to talk, I’d say they have no idea where they are.”

I sigh, relieved that at least all this wasn’t for nothing. “I’m glad I got to see you before. You know, I always imagined I’d die with a little more dignity.”

He chuckles. “I’m not sure ‘dignity’ is what they’re aiming for, Dean. They don’t really want you to die happy.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I look up through the tiny, dingy window at the darkness, remembering the night Cas and I watched the stars, and then wanting more than anything to forget it. Sam raises an eyebrow at me, and I shake my head. “Just hurts like a bitch, that’s all.”

“I know what you mean,” he murmurs. “It sucks, knowing we won’t see them again.”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Sammy. Let’s just be happy that they’re safe for now.” He nods in agreement, and we spend the rest of the night in silence, trying not to fall asleep. It’s more difficult than it sounds, because I’m so, so tired in every way a person can be tired. When the sun starts to light the sky, I look over at him. “Sammy? I love you. And I don’t regret what we did.”

“Neither do I,” he answers. “We did the right thing. I love you too.”

Soon the men are back, yanking us out of the cell and out into the main square. I stumble through the crowd, trying not to give them the satisfaction of knowing I’m in pain and probably failing miserably. Cas is safe I remind myself, and somehow that gives me the strength to make it up the stairs and not bite the executioner when he tightens the rope around my neck and whispers “You know your little lover? We killed him last night.” I look over at Sam, who gives me a weak smile, before I give up on keeping my one working eye open. The extra weight of the rope on my back is making it difficult to keep my already shaky balance, so I focus on staying upright instead while they read our charges. I’m so sorry, Cas I think. I love you. There’s a hard gust of wind and a few gasps from the crowd followed by a sharp tug on the rope around my neck, and I wonder briefly if maybe death takes a minute to kick in, or if I’m a ghost now. I don’t really have the energy to look, but I feel kind of floaty, so I suppose it’s possible. It sounds like chaos, though, and I can’t imagine why. Then a sharp pain shoots through my whole body, and everything fades.

 

* * *

 

When I come around again, it’s too quiet. The pain is good enough evidence that I’m alive, but I have no idea why. I try to move a little, to figure out what’s going on, but the all-over pain is too much, and a gasp escapes me. I hear shuffling to one side, and then there are hands pressing against my forehead, my shoulders, my chest, and I think for a moment that they’ve decided they’d like to torture me more. I flinch away from them as much as I can, trying to ignore the sharp pains every time I move. “Don’t touch me!” I manage, not at all as strongly as I wanted. It comes out as more of a whimper than anything else.

There’s a surprised noise, and then a low voice. “Dean? Don’t move, okay? You’ll hurt yourself.”

“Says someone who’s been torturing me for a week,” I mutter. “Fuck off.”

“Dean, it’s me. You’re safe. Open your eyes.”

I know it’s impossible, and that it’s probably just a mind game, but it really does sound like him, so much that I can’t help but crack my eyes open to check. Surprisingly, the swelling in my eye has gone down enough that they both open, taking a moment to focus. There’s a pair of concerned blue eyes staring down at me under dark, disheveled hair. And there’s something else. Next to my head is a long black feather. I blink up at him. “You’re not real,” I manage finally. “I’m hallucinating.”

He frowns, his face twisting into something sad, before leaning down and kissing me softly. It’s so sweet I want to cry because I know it really is him. He pulls back a fraction of an inch to look at me. “I am real. I’m right here.”

I take a shaky breath, then wrap my arms around him and pull him as close as possible, ignoring the protests of my ribs. He relaxes a little, carefully pulling me upright as I bury my face against his neck, hugging me back a little more gingerly. I feel tears sliding down my cheeks and I can’t even be bothered to be embarrassed about them because somehow he’s here and I’m not dead. Something inside me breaks at the knowledge that this is real, and suddenly I’m crying so hard for so many reasons that I can’t catch my breath. “I t-thought I’d never s-see you again!” I sob into his skin, clutching at him desperately; convinced he’ll disappear if I don’t hold onto him.

He shushes me gently, rubbing soothing circles on my back. “It’s okay, I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here. I’ve got you. Take a deep breath for me, okay?” I nod, trying to calm down while he continues to murmur softly. When I can manage to loosen my grip on him I pull back a little. He smiles, gently wiping my face. “How are you feeling?” he asks. “I did what I could, but there was so much, and I don’t have nearly enough practice…”

I frown, looking down at myself. Aside from the clean clothes, there’s a bandage wrapped tightly around my torso, and all of the cuts and scrapes have been cleaned, some covered with their own bandages. “You did all this?”

He nods. “Of course. I know it’s not the neatest work, but I was really scared and you were so hurt…”

“No, you did great. Thank you.” A sudden, horrible thought occurs to me. “Cas, where’s Sammy?”

“He’s fine,” he assures me quickly. “He’s with Gabriel. They went to get food.”

Relieved, I relax against him. “What happened? I thought we were dead for sure. The rope was around my neck. How did I get here?”

He smiles. “It only took about a minute to realize we were making a huge mistake leaving you. But we knew we had to be smart; we wouldn’t do any good if they caught us. So we found out what they were planning and snuck in. We almost didn’t make it in time. We didn’t want to draw attention, so we had to wait. But we grabbed you and Sam and got you away just in time.”

I frown. “But…they just let you leave? There’s no way you could have outrun them all. They’d be pissed.”

He blushes a little, nodding. “We didn’t run. Do you remember when you asked me if I could fly?”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “Are you telling me you flew us out?”

He nods. “We flew in, too. When we were trying to plan I remembered what you said and tried it. It wasn’t easy, especially once we were carrying you, but it worked. There was nothing they could do to stop us.”

I laugh, remembering the gust of wind and the sensation of floating. “Damn. I wish I’d been awake to see their faces. So how long ago was that?”

“Four days,” he answers softly. “I was terrified that you wouldn’t wake up. They did so much damage…”

“Hey, I’m alright,” I assure him softly. “You did everything right. I’m just…so glad to see you.”

He smiles, kissing me softly, though I’m sure after four days I can’t have the best breath. “I’m glad to see you too. But you really should lie down for a while if you want your ribs to stop hurting.”

“I don’t mind it so much now. I don’t want to let go of you,” I chuckle. “You might disappear on me.” I look him over again, noticing the small scrapes on his hands and knees. “What happened to you?”

He shrugs. “Landing was slightly more difficult than I’d anticipated.” I lean in to kiss his cheek, but gasp as my ribs protest, and he frowns worriedly. “Okay, lie down. You don’t want to make it worse.”

“I’m fine,” I assure him. He gives me a glare so hard it would make Sam proud. “Okay, okay. But you have to lay with me. Deal?” He nods in agreement, helping me down to the ground and settling beside me. The pain eases as the pressure on my ribs is released, and I stare up at the makeshift shelter. “So where are we, exactly?”

“A few miles from the nearest town,” he answers. “We thought we could make it all the way, but flying was a lot more tiring carrying you. So we decided to stop here until you were better. It was close enough that we could go into town and get what we needed. We’ve been watching, but no one has come looking for us yet.”

I sigh, squeezing his hand, and he raises an eyebrow at me. I shake my head. “Just…hard to believe I’m not imagining this. I thought for sure I was dead. I’d accepted it. You’re really interfering with my plans here, you know that?”

He laughs. “My apologies. Next time I save your life I’ll try to consult you first.” He’s quiet for a moment. “I know what you mean though,” he says softly. “I didn’t think I’d see you again either. Did you really think I wouldn’t try to save you?”

“I figured you’d try. I thought Gabriel might have the good sense to stop you.”

He smiles. “If it had been just you, perhaps he would have tried. But it was Sam too. He was going just as crazy as I was.” He pauses, flushing a little. “Besides, I told him that if we failed, and you died…I’d be following you shortly. I didn’t give him much choice.”

I look up at him, alarmed. “Cas, why would you say something like that?”

He sighs softly. “Dean, I…You don’t understand how totally happy I am with you. It’s happier than I’ve been my entire life. People like me don’t get that kind of happiness twice.” He looks away. “I don’t want to live in a world without you.”

I coax him closer until I can press my lips to his softly. “I understand. Just don’t ever scare me like that, okay? I never want you to disappear again.”

He nods, staying quiet for a minute, his thumb tracing light patterns on the back of my hand. “Dean?” he whispers. “What are we going to do now?”

I stare up at the ceiling while I consider my answer. I never thought I’d make it out alive, so I never had a plan for what to do after. Everything we’ve ever known is back in a village we can never return to. “We’ll find a new place,” I answer finally. “We’ll start over. And whatever happens, we’ll be together.”

He smiles, nodding. “Okay. I like the sound of that.”

“Me too,” I murmur.


	6. Family Tree

I close my eyes for a while, trying to calm the jittery thrumming in my veins that’s been there since the morning Cas left. It’s over, I remind myself, focusing on the solid presence against my side. At some point I fall asleep, but all I see when I close my eyes is the swinging rope and the flutter of feathers. I wake up with a gasp, pain radiating through my ribs, disoriented until I feel Cas’ hands on my chest, pressing down lightly, gently encouraging me to still and breathe, trying to soothe my panic. “It’s alright,” he murmurs softly. “We’re safe. I’m here.” I can’t seem to form words, so I nod instead, pressing closer to him and trying to take a deep breath. I’m sure he can feel my frantic heartbeat through my chest, but he doesn’t mention it, continuing to speak calmly until I manage to draw in a shaky breath, holding onto him tightly. “You’re okay, Dean,” he says softly. “I’ve got you. Just breathe.” He repeats the same comforting words until I manage a breath that’s a little less strangled, looking up into his concerned gaze. “Are you alright?”

I clear my throat, embarrassed. “Yeah, sorry. I’m okay.”

He nods, and I find myself exceedingly grateful when he doesn’t say anything else about it, instead holding me close and humming softly until we hear footsteps outside. He frowns, getting up to check. “Relax Cassie,” I hear. “It’s just us. How’s…” I see Gabriel look over Cas’ shoulder, and he grins. “Oh, Dean. Nice of you to join us.”

I chuckle, carefully pulling myself up onto my elbows. “I never thought I’d be so happy to see you Gabriel.”

He makes a face like he’s offended, but gets distracted by the rustling behind him. “I don’t see why I have to carry all this,” Sam whines, stepping out of the trees. He freezes, then grins widely, dropping everything in his arms and rushing over to me. “Dean!” he hugs me tightly, and I stifle a groan.

“Easy Sammy. I’m okay.”

He pulls back sheepishly. “Right. Sorry. It’s just…I’m really glad you’re awake. We weren’t sure about you for a while there. How’re you doing?”

“I’m fine. Cas has been taking care of me. How are you?”

He shrugs. “A little bruised up, but I’ll be okay. Still a little shocked, I think.”

“Tell me about it,” I chuckle. “Now, Cas said you went to get food…”

Sam laughs. “How did I know you were going to ask that? You must be starving. Gabe just started cooking it. I’m going to go see if I can help, okay?”

“Not like I’m going anywhere with nurse Cas on duty,” I answer, grinning at the disgruntled look Cas gives from the corner. “Go ahead.” He nods, disappearing outside, and I hear his voice mixing with Gabriel’s, both less strained than before. “What are you doing all the way over there?” I whine to Cas. It comes off a little childish, but I think almost dying gives me the right to not be an adult right now. He smiles, scooting closer, pulling a brown sack behind him. “What’s that?” I ask curiously.

“Well, we figured we should grab what we could from the house before they did something with it. Gabriel said I was crazy, but I thought you’d like to have this.”

He reaches into the bag, pulling out an old, leather-bound book. “My father’s journal?” I murmur. I take it from him, flipping through the familiar treatments and recipes quickly. “Thank you Cas.”

“Of course, Dean. I’m glad you’re pleased.” I look around for a moment, finding the black feather on the ground and tucking it inside the cover. I feel wetness on my cheeks again and look away quickly, trying to wipe them inconspicuously, but he must notice anyway, because he makes a soft, concerned noise. “Dean? Are you…crying?”

“No!” I sniff. “I’m just…I think I’m still a little off or something. Sorry…The concussion is messing with me…”

To my surprise, he actually laughs. “Good plan.” I look at him, puzzled, and the corners of his mouth twitch up. “If Sam or Gabriel sees, that’s what we’ll tell them. But, for now…” He wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me gently against his side and supporting my weight so my ribs don’t have to as one of his wings falls protectively around my shoulders. “You know I won’t mock you, Dean. You are certainly entitled to be emotional. It is quite a lot to take in at once.” I shrug noncommittally, trying to reign in the raging emotions in my chest, and he sighs. “If I asked you to talk about it, would you, or would you just come up with another snide remark?”

“Probably a snide remark,” I mutter, feeling him chuckle. “I was just thinking about everything, and…why’d you do it, Cas?”

He frowns. “I’m…not sure I understand. Why did I do what?”

“Save me,” I whisper. “I mean, I know we had a pretty sweet thing going here, but…you risked your life, and your brother’s…you risked everything to save me, and I don’t understand why. I’m not worth all that.”

His confused expression softens into something else. “Because you were willing to sacrifice everything to save me. And you are worth it to me. I love you, Dean.” Slowly, he grins. “Besides, the house rules clearly state that dying is forbidden.”

I laugh loudly, ignoring the twinge of pain. “You do love your rules,” I smile. “I still don’t know how I’m going to repay you for this.”

He frowns, puzzled. “You don’t have to. This was my repayment.”

“For what?” I ask. He sighs, giving me a look that clearly says I love you, but you can be so goddamn stupid.

“For everything, Dean.” He glances out at Gabriel and Sam. “They should be done. I’ll bring you some food.”

I whine in protest. “I’ve been lying still for four days, Cas. I think I can try to walk a little.” He looks at me skeptically. “You can help. Besides, the faster I’m back on my feet, the faster we can find a new place to live, right?” He considers it, albeit reluctantly, then nods, carefully pulling me up. I wrap one arm around his shoulders, and one of his latches around my waist, shifting most of my weight onto him. He frowns, looking like he’s about a second away from sitting me back down when a little grunt betrays me. “I’m fine, I’m fine. Let’s go.”

It’s slow going, and more than a little painful, but at least I can move again. He sets me down gently next to Sam before taking a seat to my other side, close enough that I can lean on him without worrying the others too much. It’s a small gesture, but it’s one I appreciate. Sam starts filling me in on the four days I missed, but once my hunger is satisfied the exhaustion hits me hard, and I find it harder to pay attention to much besides the light stroking of Cas’ fingers against my hip. He shifts closer, and I let my head fall onto his shoulder. “You must be very tired,” he murmurs.

“I’ve only been awake for, like, four hours,” I protest.

“Dean, your body has been through a lot lately. You need your rest.”

I frown, but he only stares back patiently. “Fine,” I agree finally. “But tomorrow we should start looking for someplace to go.”

“Dean,” Sam says cautiously, “You can’t even stand up on your own. How are you going to walk from town to town?”

“Cas can fly me there. Right Cas?”

To my surprise, Cas shakes his head hard, his eyes darkening angrily. “Absolutely not.”

I raise an eyebrow at the sudden change. “Mind telling me what that’s about?”

“I’m not going to do that to you again, Dean.”

Gabriel and Sam look away sheepishly, and I try to meet Cas’ eye, but he’s stubbornly refusing to look up from the ground. “Alright, someone here better start talking. What do you know that I don’t?” None of them answer, so I sigh. “Cas, help me back inside. I want to talk to you.” He nods obediently, still avoiding my gaze, and helps me to my feet, carefully setting me down inside. He backs up quickly, like he’s expecting me to be angry. “Now. Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

Cas hesitates, glancing up for barely a second before returning his eyes to the floor. “It was my fault you went unconscious in the first place,” he whispers finally.

“And…how is that?”

He looks up finally, his eyes full of guilt. “I just wanted to get you out of there, and I wasn’t thinking. So I wrapped my arms around your chest as tightly as I could and pulled you up. The sound you made…” A violent shudder runs through him, all the way to the tips of his wings. “It was the kind of scream only a tortured man could make,” he murmurs, haunted. “You passed out and didn’t wake up for days, and it was my fault.”

I watch as he trembles at the memory, seeming to fold in on himself, his wings pulling in tight against his back. “Cas?” I murmur gently. “Can you look at me please?” Reluctantly, his gaze comes up, full of apologies, and the tip of every feather quivers nervously. “In case you didn’t notice,” I say slowly, “I wasn’t exactly in the best shape at the time. I was about a second away from passing out all on my own before you got there. Seriously, the only thing keeping me on my feet was willpower and spite. And you didn’t know what they did. It’s okay, Cas.”

He shakes his head again. “No, it’s not. I hurt you, Dean. Badly. I will not risk it again.”

I sigh, shifting over until I can hug him. “Cas, baby, listen to me. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t hurt me, they did. Do you understand?” He stares at me for a moment, he head cocked to the side, before nodding slowly. “Good. Now, I know you’re worried, but we really need to figure out what we’re going to do, and I’m much better now than I was. We can figure something out, find a better position that won’t hurt, but we have to get started. It’s going to get cold soon, and I really don’t want to be living in the woods when that happens.”

He considers this information, slowly relaxing. “I understand your point, Dean. We do need to figure things out. I’d like to propose a compromise.”

“I’m listening.”

“You have healed quite a bit since we brought you here, and I’m sure we can find ways to make the traveling less painful for you, but any movement right now isn’t really the best for you.” I frown and open my mouth to argue, but he holds up a hand. “Please. I understand the urgency of our situation. The longer we stay here, the more chance they’ll find us. The fact that they haven’t come for us yet doesn’t mean they won’t try. There are several small towns in the vicinity. I’m proposing that we send Sam and Gabriel to them tomorrow to find out about other towns in the area while we give you one more day to heal. Then we can discuss in which direction it’s best to move, and the next day we’ll set out. That way we’re not wasting time, and hopefully you won’t be in so much pain.”

I nod, thinking it over. “Okay. If it makes you feel better, I’ll wait one more day. But you have to promise me you’ll stop blaming yourself for this.”

He smiles a little. “Okay. I promise.”

“Okay.”

 

* * *

 

When we finally set out for a new town, I watch as Sam and Gabriel carefully pack away our stuff. “Do you really think this town could be it?” Cas asks me.

“I don’t know. I hope so. It sounds like it’d be good, and I’m kinda tired of living in the woods. How long did they say it’d take to get there?”

“Three days or so on horseback,” he answers. “But flying is a bit faster. Gabriel says he thinks we can make it there tonight if we time it right.”

I nod, using the wall to pull myself up. “Alright then, we’d better get moving. You gonna help me or what?”

He nods hesitantly, carefully putting an arm around my shoulders. “Tell me if it hurts.” In one fluid motion he scoops me off the floor, watching me worriedly. “Is that painful?”

“No, I’m fine. Stop worrying so much.” I kiss him softly, and he relaxes, cradling me to his chest and deepening the kiss.

“When you two are done groping each other, we’re ready over here,” Gabriel interrupts.

Cas chuckles, joining them outside and spreading his wings wide. There’s a low pull, and suddenly we’re hovering above the ground. I laugh, wrapping my arms around his neck. “This is amazing!” He smiles shyly, waiting for Gabriel to join us before moving in the direction of the nearest town. I do my best to stay awake to witness it this time, but I can’t help fading in and out of sleep for a while. Cas doesn’t seem to mind, holding me securely and humming occasionally, so low and soft that I feel it vibrating through his chest more than I hear it above the wind. It’s surprisingly soothing, and for the first time in a long time I feel truly safe.

The sun is just coming up when we land on the outskirts of the town, Sam going ahead to check how many people are out before we start wandering around. Cas and Gabriel pull cloaks over their shoulders to hide their wings, but refuse to put shirts on, in case we need to make a quick exit. I insist on walking, and though Cas isn’t happy about it, he agrees that we’d draw far too much attention if he carried me, so he settles for wrapping one arm around my waist, his free hand gripping my upper arm to keep me balanced. The four of us creep quietly around the town, huddling in the main square to talk. “So, what do you think?”

“I think it’s big enough that we won’t attract too much attention,” Sam says. “And I spoke to a woman who said the nearest healers are miles away.”

Gabriel nods. “I haven’t seen a bakery. I think we could fit in here.”

Cas nods, shifting slightly as I lean on him more heavily. I feel the edge of his cloak brush against me, briefly wondering why it’s shifting so much, but not paying much attention. “Okay. Then we need to start figuring out how…”

I’m cut off by a loud voice from behind Cas that makes us all jump. “Mama, look! The angels came back!”

We turn to find a grinning little girl holding up the end of Cas’ cloak. He twitches away, which only makes it worse, the fabric getting tangled up in his wings and exposing them farther. A woman reaches out for the girl, not seeming to notice the situation. “Kathrine, how many times have I told you not to…” she trails off when she sees Cas, his wings twitching nervously, frozen in place. He swallows so loudly I can hear him, gripping my arm tighter like he’s thinking about bolting. The woman stares at him for a moment, then seems to notice the terror on his face. “Oh…I’m sorry, it’s just…it’s been so long.” He shares a nervous glance with me, but I don’t know what’s going on any more than he does. The woman smiles. “It’s okay,” she says softly. “We don’t mean you any harm. You’re not the first of your kind to come here. My apologies, I don’t mean to be rude. My name is Elizabeth.”

“What do you mean we’re not the first of our kind?” Cas asks, frowning. He shifts uncomfortably, seeming to forget for a moment that I’m leaning on him, and my knees buckle as his support gives out. The woman reaches out, catching me just in time. “Sorry,” Cas mutters.

Elizabeth looks at me worriedly, frowning. “Why don’t we talk somewhere you can sit down? My house is just across the square.” Cas looks at me questioningly, and I shrug, as curious to find out why no one else seems alarmed by the sudden appearance of wings as he is. Finally he nods, and the four of us follow her cautiously into a small cottage, where she pulls out a chair for Cas to set me down on. He hovers close anyway, nervous, and she smiles kindly.

“See Mama,” the girl says. “I told you they were back.” She wanders off to the other side of the room, cradling a doll.

“What does she mean we’re back?” Gabriel asks cautiously. “You’ve seen other people like us?”

Elizabeth nods. “There was a beautiful little girl born in this town, many years ago. She had wings the color of snow in the moonlight, and she had a wonderful gift. She did so much good for us, and everyone here loved her dearly.”

Something in this description catches Cas’ interest, but he doesn’t comment on it. “How do you know all that?” he asks instead.

“She was my best friend,” Elizabeth sighs softly. “She left us a long time ago, but she is still in the hearts of the people here. Now we tell our children the stories of the things she did for us. But now, we mostly call her the Angel.”

Gabriel and Cas share a puzzled look. “You…wouldn’t happen to recall her name, would you?” Gabe asks.

Elizabeth smiles. “Of course I do. Her name was Anna.”

Cas’ grip on my shoulder tightens, his eyes wide. “No…it couldn’t be…”

“Your mother?” Elizabeth says softly. “Yes, Castiel.” He startles a little at the sound of his name, and she smiles apologetically. “Your mother was an incredible woman. She loved you and Gabriel so much, and she did so much good in the world. She was an extremely talented healer. We truly lost something when she left.”

Cas looks at Gabriel again, who shrugs, just as confused. “My mother wasn’t a healer,” he says slowly.

“Perhaps not when you knew her,” she answers. “She left it behind her when she left us. She thought it would be too risky. But we’ve never forgotten her.”

“So,” Gabriel asks cautiously, “She just…kept her wings out all the time here? And everyone was…okay with that?” he looks perplexed by this, and Sam shifts closer to him.

Elizabeth smiles patiently, like she’s explaining something to a small child. “It took some getting used to,” she answers. “But yes. She did not hide, here. It is what she missed most after she left.”

“So you talked to her after?” Cas interrupts. He looks distraught, like he’s considering a whole new childhood that never was, without all the fear and lies and hiding. “Did she ever say why she left?”

She nods slowly. “She wrote to me. Even brought you to see me once, when you were a little thing. She always regretted that you did not know the childhood she did, but being here was not good for her. For any of you. After your father disappeared, she was not the same. She felt that she could not be the mother she wanted to be when everything here reminded her of him. It was a difficult decision. But she thought it would be best for you to have her, even if it meant hiding a part of you.” A thick silence settles over the room as Cas and Gabriel reconsider everything they thought they knew. She considers the four of us carefully. “If you didn’t know that this is where your mother came from, why are you here?” she asks.

“We’re sort of…on the run,” Cas answers softly. “They found out. So we’re looking for somewhere to go.”

“I figured as much.” She glances between Sam and I. “What about you?”

Sam flushes. “We’re, uh…kind of…”

“Wait, you wouldn’t happen to be the Winchester boys, would you?” She asks excitedly. I look at Cas, who just shrugs. “Sorry, it’s just…she told me about you years ago. She said she thought you would end up being…close. She had a way of knowing those sorts of things.”

I almost laugh. “Yeah…close. That’s one way to describe it. I suppose that’s not part of the ‘acceptance’ deal, huh?”

She considers it. “I wouldn’t go showing it off. But…I don’t think you should have a problem. You’re not the first. And certainly not the last, I’d imagine. I think the town would be happy to have you. I’ll give you a couple of minutes to talk about it.” She disappears into a back room, and we’re all quiet for a moment.

“So?” Sam asks finally. “Do we want to stay?”

I look at Cas for a minute, pulling him down into my lap. “Yes,” I answer. He looks back curiously. “I don’t want you to have to hide,” I shrug. “You could be free here. We all could.”

Cas nods. “That would be nice,” he agrees, “If she’s telling the truth.”

“You don’t think she is?” Sam asks.

He shrugs. “I think we need to be careful.”

Elizabeth returns, checking on Kathrine before sitting down across from us. “Well?” she asks. “Are you going to stay?”

“I have one more question first,” Cas answers. “Why are you being so nice to us? We’re strangers.”

She smiles, watching the little girl fondly for a moment. “Your mother saved my baby once. It’s only fair.”

Cas considers this for a minute, then nods. “Okay. We’ll stay.”

She grins. “That’s wonderful. We’ll get started right away.” She pauses, frowning. “If you’re on the run, where are you staying?”

“We’ve been in the woods on the outskirts of town,” Sam answers.

She frowns. “Well that won’t do. We’ll put you up in the inn for now.”

“Uh,” Gabriel interrupts quickly. “We kind of had to leave quickly…we don’t have much to…” he trails off, and Elizabeth smiles.

“Believe me, it won’t be a problem. I’ll take you over.”

Cas stands, taking my arm and helping me up. His grip is tight, and I’m about to remind him that I’m alright when I look over and realize that he’s holding onto me for his own benefit. I kiss him softly, his nervous expression easing. “It’ll be fine,” I tell him.

“What if she’s wrong?” he whispers to me. “What if they’ll hate us?”

I sigh, making him look at me. “Cas, they’re not going to hate you. I know you’re scared, and that you’ve never gone out in public with them before, but I’m right here, and I’m not going to let anyone do anything to you. Just take a deep breath.” He hesitates, but nods, shrugging the cloak off and gripping it in his free hand. We walk through the main square, and though people stare, they seem excited by the wings rather than frightened by them. Cas flushes, keeping his eyes on the ground. “They like you,” I murmur. Come on, you have nothing to be ashamed of.” Slowly, his raises his gaze a little, and I smile. “That’s better.”

We step into the inn, and I lightly nudge Cas over to the counter beside Elizabeth. The innkeeper comes out, a small, gray, bespectacled man. He does a double-take at the sight of Cas and Gabriel, then smiles. “So it is true.”

Elizabeth smiles. “Good morning, Gregory. This is Gabriel and Castiel, and their friends Sam and Dean. They’ve decided to settle here, but they need a place to stay until we can build some new ones. Could you help them out?”

“Of course, of course,” the old man chuckles. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance sirs. You’re welcome here for as long as you wish. I’m sure Elizabeth can show you to your rooms, and if you need anything be sure to let me know.”

It’s a little unnerving how easily he took in the situation, but it seems to make Cas feel a little better, so I let him pull me after Elizabeth. We settle into one room, Sam and Gabriel in the next one, and Elizabeth promises to return later. When she leaves, Cas sinks down to the bed beside me, sighing softly as he rests his head against my shoulder. I hug him lightly, running my fingers through his disheveled feathers. “How are you feeling?” he asks.

I chuckle, kissing his cheek softly. “I’m fine, Cas. I’m more worried about you. How are you doing? I know it’s a lot to take in at once.”

He nods. “I think that was one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done.”

“But nothing bad happened,” I remind him. “People saw, and we’re still okay. It’ll just take a little while to get used to it.”

He looks at me doubtfully. “It took me weeks to get comfortable with it in your house.” I chuckle, remembering the weeks Cas insisted on wearing a shirt in the house, his wings fighting him every step of the way. “I’ve spent my entire life hiding them in public.”

“So it might take a little longer. But it’ll be okay. Just think about how good it’ll feel to be able to stretch them whenever you want. And you won’t have to be afraid of people finding out your secret.”

He hesitates, considering it. “I suppose that would be nice…”

I smile, kissing his cheek. “We’re gonna be okay. I know it’s really different, but I really think we have a chance here.”

“You’re being uncharacteristically optimistic about this,” he points out.

I chuckle. “I guess I’m just excited for both of us. You don’t have to hide anymore, and no one here knows what happened to my mom. Aren’t you always telling me that good things can happen? Maybe this is a good thing. I mean, you mom seems to have enjoyed her time here. How are you doing with that, by the way?”

He shrugs. “It’s…different. She never really told us about that. I remember her going to visit a friend, but nothing about this place. It’s like a whole part of her that I never knew about. But…I can understand why she did it. She didn’t want to give us that kind of hope and then tell us we couldn’t go. Still, I wish she was around now, so I could ask her about this place.”

I nod. “From the way Elizabeth talks, it sounds like she knew you’d end up here eventually.”

He chuckles. “She was always like that.” He sighs softly. “You really think this might work out?”

“Yes, I really do,” I assure him. “We’ve made it this far, right? This is nothing. We can do this. We’re together. That’s all that matters.”

Finally, he smiles a little, nodding before he leans closer and softly presses his lips to mine.


	7. Angel Day

It takes a little over a month for two houses to be built, and the town is devoted to not letting us see them until they’re done. Everyone is so excited about the return of Cas and Gabriel that the whole town has a hand in the building, and they refuse to let us help. By the time they’re finished I’ve healed enough to be able to walk straight, and Cas is getting slightly more comfortable with keeping his wings out. I think the shirts with wing holes Elizabeth made for him helped. The morning we’re finally going to see the houses, I wake up before he does, watching him sleep peacefully for a while. Suddenly, he frowns, muttering to himself. He wakes with a gasp, looking around wildly. “Hey, it’s okay,” I assure him softly, wrapping my arms around him. He shudders, hiding his face against my shoulder as he holds onto me tightly. “You’re alright, Cas,” I murmur. “It was only a dream.”

He nods, taking a breath and pulling away. “Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry.”

“It’s alright. It happens to the best of us.” I look him over for a minute, realizing how tired he looks. “Is this happening a lot?”

He shrugs. “Just the last couple of weeks. I’ve been…stressed.”

“You need to relax,” I murmur, kissing him softly. “We’re all okay. You have nothing to worry about now.” He nods reluctantly, leaning into my shoulder. “Tonight we’ll be sleeping in our own house,” I remind him. “No one has come after us, and even if they did, the people here wouldn’t let them do anything to us. We’re going to be okay, Cas. I promise.”

Finally, he smiles, kissing my cheek softly. “Okay. I believe you. Let’s go wake up Sam and Gabriel so we can go see the houses.”

After a disgruntled Sam and Gabriel are finally dressed, we leave the inn and walk into the main square. Kathrine runs up to us, paper wings trailing behind her. “Hello Kathrine,” Cas smiles. “Why aren’t you at school today?”

“It’s Angel Day!” the girl answers. “We don’t have to go to school today. I’m supposed to bring you to your new houses.”

“Alright then, lead the way.”

I glance over at Cas, who seems perplexed by the paper wings most of the town’s children seem to be wearing, but he only shrugs. Kathrine skips down the street until her mother comes into view, standing in front of a large house with a storefront on the bottom level. “Good morning boys!” she greets cheerfully, hugging each of us. “Who’s ready to see their new houses?”

Gabriel stares behind her at the house. “Is this…?”

“Yes, Gabriel,” she smiles. “It’s yours and Sam’s. I think you’ll find everything you need in there.” She laughs as Gabriel grabs Sam’s arm and drags him into the bakery, hopping up and down. “Dean, Castiel, yours is across the street,” she says, pointing. “Let me show you.” She leads us over to the house, showing us around the ground floor, which is set up perfectly as a healer’s workspace. “This is where your mother lived, Castiel,” she explains. “No one felt right about living in it after she left, but we took care of it. We had to make a few adjustments for you, but I think you’ll like it.”

“I love it,” Cas murmurs, hugging her tightly. “Thank you.”

She smiles, hugging him back. “I’m glad. I’ll leave you two to settle in. You know where to find me if you need anything.”

“Oh, Elizabeth?” I ask. “What’s Angel Day?”

“It’s her birthday,” she answers softly. “A local holiday. Have fun.”

She disappears out the door, and Cas turns to me, grinning. “Dean, we have a house.”

“I know, Cas,” I chuckle. “You look happy finally.”

“Of course I’m happy,” he answers. “We have a house, and…friends, and I have you. We’re safe. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy.”

I smile, kissing him softly. “I’m glad. You know, I think I know a perfect way to celebrate.”

He blushes up to the tips of his ears, but smiles. “I think I understand.”

“Then let’s go check out upstairs, shall we?”

He grins, nodding shyly and squeezing my hand. “Okay. But we’re unpacking first.”

“Cas, nooo,” I groan.

“You know you’re not going to want to do it later,” he chuckles. “Come on, it won’t take too long.” I grumble about it the entire time, but all of our stuff is put away in an hour, at which point Cas smiles, pulling me upstairs. It takes a few tries to get to the right door, but when we do I tug him inside, pulling him down on the bed with me. “Welcome home, Dean,” he grins.

I chuckle, kissing him softly. “Welcome home, Cas.”

 

* * *

 

He falls asleep almost immediately, his cheek pressed over my heart. I chuckle as he snores softly, lightly running my fingers through his hair. After a few hours, he tenses a little, blinking up at me. “Morning sunshine,” I murmur, kissing him softly. “You okay?” He nods slowly, then groans, shivering. “Cas?” I say, worried. “What’s wrong?”

He frowns. “I don’t know. I just…” He groans again, curling up. “I don’t feel very good…”

I gently press my lips to his forehead, frowning at the temperature. “You might have a little fever. What hurts?”

“Everything,” he moans. He wraps his arms around himself, shuddering again. “It hurts…”

“Have you gotten hurt lately?” I ask, starting to worry. “Do you feel anything else weird?”

He shakes his head. “No, just the pain…” He whimpers, curling up tighter. “Dean, something is wrong.”

I swallow, trying to control my panic and rubbing his back gently. “Okay, we’ll figure it out. I’m gonna get Sam, alright? You gonna be okay here for a minute?”

He nods, looking up at me with wide eyes. “Hurry!” I nod, running out of the house and knocking frantically on Sam’s door. Gabriel answers, looking puzzled.

“Dean? What’s wrong?”

“It’s Cas,” I explain quickly. “Something is wrong with him. I need Sam. Quickly!” He nods, calling over his shoulder for Sam, and they both follow me back into the house. Cas has his eyes closed, hugging himself tightly. I sit down next to him, stroking his hair lightly. “Cas? How are you doing?”

“It’s worse,” he manages, moaning into the pillow.

Sam frowns, gently examining him while I try to comfort him. “It’s alright baby,” I murmur, squeezing his hand gently. “Well?” I ask Sam. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Well, I…I honestly don’t know,” he murmurs. “I don’t think it’s really a fever. His whole body is way too warm. But the only symptoms are the temperature and the pain. Nothing else is out of the ordinary. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Something about that phrase jogs my memory. “Wait, say that again.”

“I’ve…never seen anything like it?” he repeats.

I jump up, searching through the nearest drawers until I find my father’s journal. “I’ve heard of this before…” Finally, I find the page I remembered. Anna. Generalized pain, unusually high temperature. Cause: unknown. The word “unknown” is crossed out, and beneath it is written Castiel. “I think we need to get Elizabeth,” I murmur, showing him the page. “I think she might know something about this.” He nods, disappearing out the door, and Cas blinks up at me.

“What’s going on, Dean?”

I sigh, stroking his cheek gently. “I don’t know yet. But we’re going to find out. Hang in there.”

He whines, reaching out for me, and I gently pull him into my lap, trying to soothe him. Sam returns with Elizabeth, who frowns. “What happened?”

Cas blushes looking up at me. “Well, Cas was kind of worn out,” I explain. “So he took a nap, and when he woke up he was like this.” Gabriel snorts, and Sam nudges him. “It’s nothing we’ve ever seen, but we think Anna might have gone through it. Have you ever seen something like this?”

She nods slowly, looking between us. “Well…yes…”

“Great,” Sam says. “What is it?”

She smiles a little. “Anna did go through something like this. It was…Gabriel.”

Everyone seems to freeze for a moment, staring at her as the pieces slowly come together. “Are you trying to tell me that…Cas is pregnant?” I manage finally. He whimpers softly, his face hidden in my shirt, though whether it’s from the pain or the implications I can’t tell.

“All I’m saying is when she had Gabriel, she looked exactly like that. Have you been having nightmares?”

I hug Cas tighter as he groans, nodding. “But…that’s impossible!”

She sighs softly. “Maybe, in the traditional sense. Angels are not born out of traditional circumstances. She had a theory about it. Her parents did not have wings, but they did share a special kind of love. She believed that angels only resulted from particularly profound bonds between people. Her parents had one, and so did she with your father. It seems you do as well. It’s not pregnancy in the fashion you’re used to. But it is the creation of a new being.”

So many questions race through my head that I have trouble choosing one to start with. “How does that…even work? How long is he going to be in pain like this?”

“It’s less mechanical than what you’re thinking. I can’t say for sure, but I have a feeling it’ll still work. It’s…hard to explain. But it should not be a problem. And hopefully, a few hours at the most. When it was Gabriel, it was almost a whole day, but he was always a difficult one.” Gabe makes a sound of protest, and Sam chuckles.

“So we’re…going to have a baby?” I murmur. “Like, right now? Today?”

She smiles. “It certainly seems that way. Congratulations.”

I sigh, rubbing my temples where a headache is starting and trying to focus on one problem at a time. “Okay,” I manage. “What do we do now?”

“All you can do now is try to keep him as comfortable as possible and wait it out.” She reaches out, lightly touching his shoulder. “Good luck.”

“Can…everyone just give us a minute?” I ask.

They all nod, shuffling out the door. Cas looks up at me, his eyes wide and frightened. “Dean…”

He moans in pain again, shivering. “I know baby. It’s okay,” I murmur, hugging him tighter. “It’s going to be just fine. I promise.”

“You’re…surprisingly calm. You’re not freaking out?” he asks cautiously.

I chuckle, kissing him softly. “Honestly? I’m freaking out a lot. But I know we can handle this. I’m not worried about that. My main concern right now is you. We can figure out everything else after. I don’t like seeing you in pain.”

He smiles weakly, hugging me tighter. “I’ll be okay. Just…don’t leave me.”

“Never,” I assure him. He groans, his wings twitching, and I rub soothing circles on his back. “We’re going to do this together. I promise.”

 

* * *

 

After a couple of hours, Cas’ resolve is wearing thin, and his cries grow louder as he pants against my chest. I’ve had to take my shirt off, because his skin is only getting warmer, and the longer this goes on, the closer he presses. “Dean, I don’t think I can do this,” he whimpers, burying his face against my chest.

I kiss his forehead, brushing his sweaty locks off of his forehead. “Shh baby, it’s okay. You’re strong. I know it’s hard now, but just think about what we’re going to have when this is over, okay? I’m right here. If I could take the pain for you I would, but I can’t, so I have to settle for support. But I promise you, we’re in this together, like always. Just try to take some deep breaths and focus on that. You can do it.” He nods, taking a breath and closing his eyes. It works for a little while, and he quiets a bit. Suddenly, I feel him shudder hard, then go limp, trembling lightly. “Cas?” I murmur, concerned.

I gently pull his head back, and he looks up at me tiredly. “I think it’s done…” he whispers. “It stopped.”

“Done?” I ask, puzzled. There’s a small sound and a rustle from under Cas’ wing. He lifts it cautiously, his eyes widening at the tiny baby underneath. “Is that…that’s…where did it come from?”

Cas shrugs, carefully picking the child up. “It’s a girl,” he murmurs. He looks up at me, the weariness almost erased by his grin. “Dean, we have a little girl,” he whispers, staring down at her in amazement.

I gasp as she shifts, tiny, delicate wings stretching out to either side. I gently run my fingers over the pure white feathers, smiling when she makes a happy sound, her feathers catching the light and shimmering gold. “She’s beautiful,” I murmur, leaning down to kiss her forehead, chuckling at her cooing.

“Here, you hold her,” he says quietly, carefully placing her in my arms and slipping to the side, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head against my shoulder. He smiles, his fingers stroking her cheek lightly as she squirms.

She opens her eyes, and I smile at the deep blue, just like Cas’. “What should we call her?” I ask him.

He considers it carefully. “Your mother’s name was Mary, right? I like Mary Anna.”

I smile, kissing him softly. “I like that too. I love you Castiel. So much.” The baby snuggles closer to my chest, and I lightly rub her back between her wings, laughing as they flap happily. “So, what exactly happened?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. It just hurt, and then…it didn’t. She was just there.” He pauses, looking up at me. “Dean, are you sure this is what you want?”

“We probably should have discussed that before,” I chuckle.

He rolls his eyes at me. “I’m serious, Dean.”

I sigh, gently pulling him in closer. “Relax, Cas. I’m not running away. I mean, yeah, it was kind of a shock, but…how could I not love her? Look at her. She’s…incredible.”

He smiles down at her. “Yeah, she is. And she’s…quiet. I expected more crying.”

“From her or you?” I tease him lightly.

He chuckles, lightly running his fingers over Mary’s wings. “Can you believe we did that?”

“Mostly you,” I murmur, kissing his forehead softly.

He shakes his head. “No. Us. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

There’s a knock at the door, and Sam, Gabriel, and Elizabeth peek in. “Hey,” Sam says softly, “We heard it go quiet. Is…everything okay?”

Cas smiles, motioning them over. “Sam, Gabriel, this is Mary Anna. Your niece.”

“Woah,” Sam breathes. “You…have a baby.”

I chuckle, watching as she stares up at him with big blue eyes. “Yeah, I kinda noticed that.”

He gives me a look before smiling down at her. “She’s cute. Must get it from Cas.”

Cas laughs softly, and I glare at Sam. Mary looks up at me. “Don’t worry baby,” I murmur. “Uncle Sammy is just being a jerk.”

Elizabeth chuckles, setting down a stack of fabric on the bed. “She’s beautiful. I brought some old baby things for you. Some blankets and diapers and things.”

Cas looks up at me, frowning. “I don’t know how to put on a diaper.”

I laugh softly, kissing his cheek. “I’ll teach you. I used to help with Sammy. Thank you, Elizabeth.” I reach into the pile and pull out a soft blanket, wrapping Mary up in it gently before laying her on my chest again on the side closest to Cas. He lightly runs his fingers along her arm, and she falls asleep almost immediately, her soft breaths falling against my skin. A sudden thought occurs to me, and I frown. “How are we going to feed her?” I whisper to Cas. “Or can you do that too.”

“I sincerely doubt it,” he answers, too tired and happy to be offended.

“I have some ideas about that,” Elizabeth says. “I’ll figure it out for you. You just take care of your family. Especially that one,” she smiles, nudging Cas lightly. “You just relax with your lucky little girl. We’ll be back soon with food.” She rounds up Sam and Gabe, herding them out the door.

“Wait!” Cas calls after her. “Why do you say she’s lucky?”

She smiles, glancing down at the baby. “She was born on Angel Day. It’s a good day to be born, don’t you think?”

The three of them disappear, leaving Cas and Mary and I in our own little bubble. When I look over at Cas he’s frowning, staring off into space. “What’s wrong?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “Just…thinking about everything. I don’t suppose there’s a way to figure out how long ago this happened, but…what if we’d failed at saving you? I might’ve had to do this all by myself. Or…what if I really had followed you? I could’ve killed her and not even known…”

I shush him gently, softly pressing my lips to his. “Baby, it doesn’t matter. Those things didn’t happen, and they didn’t happen for a reason, and I think this was it. But I’d say it probably happened a couple of months ago. You had to be born after your mother left here for my father to know about it. That had to be at least a few months after your father disappeared, right?” He nods, looking down at Mary for a moment before yawning. “You should rest,” I murmur, kissing his forehead softly. He shakes his head, and I laugh. “Cas, you had a baby today. I’m still not really clear on how, but I know you’re tired. I can watch her for a while.”

“I don’t want to miss anything,” he whines.

I chuckle, hugging him tighter. “Honey, you can’t just never sleep. I promise I’ll wake you up if anything happens, okay? Go to sleep.” He grumbles something unintelligible, but snuggles in closer, and soon he’s snoring lightly beside Mary. I chuckle softly, watching their wings twitch every so often as they dream peacefully, holding my new little family close. Mary sighs in her sleep, her wing lightly brushing along the edge of Cas’. I gently kiss the top of her head, smiling as she leans into the touch. “We’re all going to be okay,” I murmur to them both. “As long as we’re together.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember to drop me a line if you liked it!
> 
> Love,  
> TheSongSmith


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